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I wrote this poem about my relationship with my dad. what do you think?

I wrote this poem about my relationship with my dad. what do you think? Topic: Ideas for writing a shape poem
June 20, 2019 / By Aidith
Question: I know I wasn't what you wanted But that doesn't make me a punching bag I have feelings too I know I'm not that little boy But that doesn't mean I'm worthless I'm a person too I know I'm not your pride and joy But that doesn't mean I don't need love I need love from you I know I'm not the perfect kid But that doesn't mean I'm a mistake I'm a human too I know you didn't want me But that doesn't mean I don't need you I need love from you I'm sorry I couldn't have been more But now I'm done, I've had enough I have feelings too I need love from you I'm a human too But now I'm done with you Oh and title ideas are appreciated
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Best Answers: I wrote this poem about my relationship with my dad. what do you think?

Toal Toal | 10 days ago
Aw sweetie, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with your dad. Believe me, I've been there and done that. As for the poem, I'd only change a couple things: -The first paragraph, change it to "I know I'm not what you wanted" -Take out the second to the last paragraph, it just repeats what you've already said -The last one needs to be shaped up to fit the style of the rest of the poem, something like: I'm sorry things didn't go your way But now I'm done, I've had enough I have feelings too I needed love from you, I'm a human too But now I'm done with you And I go with a title like "Greatest Mistake" or "Failed for You" Hope things get better for you. Just because you can't get love from your dad doesn't mean you can't get it from others. FWIW, I think you're remarkable. =]
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Toal Originally Answered: Another poem i wrote please comment?
hey i like it, but i think a little change in the end could give the poem a better flow. How Many How many times can you Say I love you To the women who gave birth to you To the women who gives you advice And food and a warm dry place to live With caring loving hands that comfort you Shows you love everyday Through words or actions Knowing that she would risk Her life for yours To the women who gives you Money when need it or want it How Many How many times can you Say I love you To that special women Not enough I love you mom let me know wat u think..:-)

Randell Randell
It's a beautiful, touching poem. But leave off the last paragraph. Some people, men especially, have difficulty expressing softer feelings.A title might be "Who Needs Love?" or "Do you need any love?" Maybe your father's parents never expressed their love to him. My father NEVER expressed love, or was affectionate. I was well into adulthood when my Mother told me how she had wanted to throw away a small piece of furniture that was very worn out. My father got very angry. My Mother asked, "Why do you want to hang on to that old thing?" My father's answer was: "Because the girls gave it to me." I've felt sorry ever since when I realized how difficult it was for him to express his emotions.
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Martial Martial
Was great, flowed well.I wanted to read more. Awesome poem. i'm sorry your relationship was so terrible. ) = Here are some strange idea for titles: One sided love Wishing for change Never wanted Life without love Always apart Sorry, i'm not very good at coming up with titles. Great writing though!!!!!!
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Jeshua Jeshua
well i am not trying to change it but the 2 to last line on the bottom you could try I'm a human just like you But now I'm done and over you but for a title you could say my "father and his love"
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