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What do u think of this poem I made?

What do u think of this poem I made? Topic: How to write a love poem for my girlfriend
April 21, 2019 / By Lysanne
Question: It describes what I want in a man. Here it goes What I want is a man who can cater to what I need.. A man who will be there to help me out when Im down A man who'll protect me from every harm. He will be by my side during ups and downs He will do extremes to prove he loves me And would always make an effort for me not to frown I will not search but just wait For this man in my life to come on his own I'm not in a hurry and I guess maybe by fate I'll meet this hero of mine Who will fulfill my every dream
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Best Answers: What do u think of this poem I made?

Keitha Keitha | 7 days ago
i know you're going to end up giving the points to someone who answers with "oh i love it!", but i'm going to give you my honest impression anyway.... Its a little fairy tale-ish... Like... obviously a good guy would try to fill those roles... but love is more complicated than that... its not about a knight in shining armor... its about finding someone who you love... someone that you want to make happy and who wants to make you happy so that you both end up head over heels... The second stanza is much better... i just don't like the very last line... but the rest of it is nice... the whole "i will not search but just wait" stuff... The difference between good poetry and bad poetry is how "real" it feels. If you can read something, and feel like you know exactly how the person feels... then its good poetry... I would recommend Bukowski, my favourite poet (although he's a little cynical... his later stuff tends to be more uplifting...) Here's a poem my girlfriend picked out for me that he wrote... "Click of a miracle" it's a grand time then a perfect and peaceful photograph dream- like such small moments keep people alive such small moments so large when it all comes together and holds. Its beautiful, isn't it? I wouldn't recommend copying his style, but simply take the idea of how REAL his words are. You can tell each word came from his soul... Its not contrived, its absolutely sincere. And that's why it's amazing....
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Keitha Originally Answered: What do u think of this poem I made?
i know you're going to end up giving the points to someone who answers with "oh i love it!", but i'm going to give you my honest impression anyway.... Its a little fairy tale-ish... Like... obviously a good guy would try to fill those roles... but love is more complicated than that... its not about a knight in shining armor... its about finding someone who you love... someone that you want to make happy and who wants to make you happy so that you both end up head over heels... The second stanza is much better... i just don't like the very last line... but the rest of it is nice... the whole "i will not search but just wait" stuff... The difference between good poetry and bad poetry is how "real" it feels. If you can read something, and feel like you know exactly how the person feels... then its good poetry... I would recommend Bukowski, my favourite poet (although he's a little cynical... his later stuff tends to be more uplifting...) Here's a poem my girlfriend picked out for me that he wrote... "Click of a miracle" it's a grand time then a perfect and peaceful photograph dream- like such small moments keep people alive such small moments so large when it all comes together and holds. Its beautiful, isn't it? I wouldn't recommend copying his style, but simply take the idea of how REAL his words are. You can tell each word came from his soul... Its not contrived, its absolutely sincere. And that's why it's amazing....

Indy Indy
this is good, but i do have some suggestions. i too am a frequent writer and poetry isnt something new to me. my poems have been published since 3rd grade. Try writing about what you don't no. I have to be the most up-beat person in new jersey, but my best poems are dark and usually contain suicide (creepy, ino) example (actually a song) Just forget me There’s no shame In a little bit of pain Or a little bit of struggle To get by It’s not my fault I'm broken You drove me to suicide Now i’m gone just forget me Im not here to c your tears To make u cry Or die inside From my ways Its just blood It’s left my body There's no care in this air That I’ve stopped breathing Forever. Because I’m gone There’s no turning back I’ve pulled the trigger A hole in my head And now I lye here left for dead Now i’m gone just forget me Im not here to c your tears To make u cry Or die inside From my ways I want to change but I can’t I feel so strained I need your romance But u don’t want me to have it So I will leave you Just let me go And watch me spin This barrel of destruction Now i’m gone just forget me I’m not here to c your tears To make u cry Or die inside From my ways There’s no shame in this game That I’m playing It’s all luck But I lost it The barrel spun The end has begun Blood everywhere I think of the scent of your hair The smile on your face Ur elegant grace But now I lye here dead I’ve reached the end
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Eldreda Eldreda
It's okay I guess. It doesn't flow very poetically though. It sounds moer like a speech. Also, in your rhyming, it's hard to tell that you're actually rhyming. In the first verse, you rhyme the word down, with down again; You shouldn't do this! It ruins the flow of the poem and makes it unclear as to whether it is actually rhyming!
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Cherilyn Cherilyn
Nice poem but to speak about this man like he is superman or something. Everyone would like someone like that but this is reality and there is no real person who can do that and not be jobless.
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Ashley Ashley
send me a pic, i may be your man. i'm not shallow, just want to make sure your eyes aren't too close together
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Ashley Originally Answered: What is the meant by paraphrasing a stanza of a poem? and Can someone please tell me how to paraphrase a poem?
A stanza is one verse of the poem. To paraphrase simply means to write it in your own words. It should not come out as a poem for you though. It should be a short few sentences of written text. EDIT: For example: Brother, my brother, How selfish was I While you seemed to struggle, I sat idly by Brother, why did I selfishly sit idly by while you did nothing but struggle. http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/confessio...

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