Falling In Love with a Jehovah Witness (Revised)?
Topic: Article writing questions about literature
July 17, 2019 / By Elbridge Question:
I have fallen In love with a witness, Im not a witness, I wasn't born or raised on any religion...my parents wanted me to choose for myself. I'm 19 he's 26, I met him last summer and we started dating shortly after, at the time from what I understood he wasn't into it as much as he is now. We were together for 9 months then it ended because of his religion which I fully respect but throughout it all, he drinks he used to smoke weed but quitted had sex with me twice during our relationship . We recently had sex again Friday and he told me that he cried because he disobeyed god and hurt his relationship with him and that made me feel really guilty... He kissed me that night, held me, touched me the way he used to while together and the next day told me that it was a mistake and that he needed to repent and that hurt my feelings. Anyway, I strongly believe in god, I do need to become closer with god and build a strong relationship with him, I just don't have a religion. I'm in love with him so deeply, I can't help it, I'm not sure what to do. He says we can't be together because I'm not a witness and seem like I'm not trying to be one. I'm open to it. But would it be hard to convert given the fact I'm used to holidays and all of that stuff? I'm heart broken right now. He said that I need to put it in the past, read the books hes given me and cope with my feelings and understand that everything happens for a reason. It just hurts that we can't be together and Friday night brought up memories and feelings. Your opinions??
I am a good person, I would like to better choices in my life and be set on the right path. I'm still learning things about witnesses that makes me feel even guiltier. I dont wish to make him feel bad in anyway. I feel guilty because I don't have any religion, I want to become closer to God. I want to lead a better life so that I can get a better perspective and that my relationship with god can become stronger.
Best Answers: Falling In Love with a Jehovah Witness (Revised)?
Carmi | 9 days ago
Your situation is truly NOT just a matter of converting. Becoming a true and faithful witness of Jehovah God is a way of life . . . and not something to be taken lightly.
As others here have so graciously suggested, you really should make an effort to go to all the meetings with your friend (I'm actually surprised you haven't gone already since it's been 9 months), and read as much of the literature as possible. Then ask questions - LOTS of them! And read the Bible - as this is the way our God, Jehovah, communicates with us.
In addition, when you go to the Kingdom Hall, please ask one of the sisters you meet to study the Bible with you personally, arranging a regular study time with her at least once a week. This will benefit you greatly, and will help you understand why Jehovah commands us to "marry only in the Lord," meaning that the two of you must be spiritually yoked (with the same scriptural beliefs) before you even consider marriage.
Another big concern - which you BOTH will have to deal with - is the issue of fornication (basically any intimate sexual relationship outside the marriage bond). Apparently your boyfriend is well aware of the fact that he should not have done this, and is now feeling guilty. You can actually help him immensely by choosing not to be alone with him at any time, and certainly not kissing, touching, or pressuring him to be intimate with you at this time.
Also, besides immorality (sex outside marriage), you wrote that "...throughout it all, he drinks he used to smoke weed but quitted..." That statement makes me wonder: Has he been baptized as one of Jehovah's dedicated Witnesses yet? If so, then there may be a serious issue involving "reproof" or "disfellowshipping" which could adversely affect you both. (You can ask him and/or your study conductor to define those scriptural terms.)
And one last thought, Tiffany. Please DO explore our website. This article, for example - http://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/fam... -- has been written especially for young persons like yourself who may be in serious relationships & thinking of getting married in the future. There are also many more articles on our site which you will find extremely encouraging also, as well as answering some of the good questions you've posted above.
If you really want your relationship with this young man to continue to grow into something wonderful, then please do whatever you can to get to know the most wise, the most just, the most powerful, and the most loving God, our Creator and Grand Instructor, Jehovah! And you will be forever grateful that you did!
I hope nothing but the very best for you both.
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Originally Answered: Need advice: Gay Jehovah's Witness?
You can email me if you would like, and we can talk further from there.
You can live a celibate lifestyle. It'll be challenging, but like anyone else you'll just have to be aware of who you associate with, how close you are with certain persons and the like. Personally, your sexuality is not something anyone should demand to know, or request. It's none of their business. It'll be your choice to tell someone whether you are gay or not. According to where you live, being gay will be viewed differently. In my country, among the older ones homosexuality is one of the worst things ever. My parents are strongly against the notion of homosexuality. With the younger generations, around my age from about 18 - 25 or so are more lenient and accepting. So it depends on culture and upbringing. Even though my parents are strongly against homosexuality, I have a more lenient view on it. It's wrong yes, but I don't have a problem with gays. Most people will try their very best to be nice to you. But again, some persons may have deep seated issues with it.
Most likely not. At the end of the day, no one can force someone to marry another person. If you know you will not be happy in a marriage, then stay single.
I remember one instance where a gay couple began studying and they eventually got baptized. One of the men got married, and the other did not marry. However, because they were together in the past, one of the brothers moved to another congregation to make things lighter on him and his former partner.
So trust me when I say this - you are not the only person who is gay, or has such feelings. You will not be the first nor the last person to experience such feelings and be studying with Witnesses. There are a number of persons who are gay or bisexual or bicurious, and they are studying, they are unbaptized publishers, or they are baptized. At the end of it, each person has to make a decision. It's hard yes, but if you are willing to you can live a celibate life with the help of Jehovah. Praying helps alot. I've realized that pushing away something and pretending it is not a problem, doesn't make it go away. Sometimes we need to actually confront the problem and deal with it right there and then.
Also, you didn't wake up one morning saying 'I am going to like guys so there I'm gay.' No one willingly ever choose to do something that in the end has such a negative stigma. So whatever caused such feelings will be there. It'll be up to you control it. So my advice to you: prayer to Jehovah helps alot. Do not watch, read or listen to anything that will cause you to be attracted to someone. Examine your relationships closely. Always be on guard.
So whatever your decision is, I wish you all the best. And I'm sure you'll find someone with whom you'll feel very comfortable with. So don't worry and don't give up. Give the matter careful thought. *hugs* I know what you are going through, and it's never easy. But you'll make it through. Anyways, email me if you want and we can talk further from there. :-) Enjoy your day!
I agree with Tim, study the book, What Does the Bible Really Teach? Your sweetheart is trying to mend his relationship with Jehovah. He loves you, but does not want to put himself into temptation's way and do something he knows is wrong.
Tim suggested that you attend a different Kingdom Hall--that would be best. Perhaps you could get the phone book and call the Hall just before 7 PM until someone answers and ask if there is another hall near by, or could there be a 2nd congregation using the hall another night and attend there at that time.
If you both love each other, and I believe you do, you have a good chance that if you follow this advice you and your loved one will not only do the right thing, but that you will get married and be very happy. Jehovah is the one to institute the marriage arrangement.
I had been married 7 years when I became one of Jehovah's witnesses, and my husband threatened to take our only child and leave me, nine years later he was baptized as one of Jehovah's witnesses. The Bible says "God HATES a divorcing," and we've been extremely happy now for 56 years!
I hope you will pray using Jehovah's name and ask him to help you, ending your prayer in Jesus' name--then keep us posted as to what is happening and your progress in getting to know Jehovah!
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You could try reading the books he gave you, then, if that sounds like something you want to embrace, request a Bible study with a JW [not your b/f]. What is critically important, however, is that you don't embrace the beliefs of JWs and dedicate yourself to Jehovah to do his will when, in the back of your mind, you are doing so only to win your b/f over.
That will not work, believe me. As you are no doubt aware, all baptized JWs preach publicly from house to house, and to become a baptized Witness, you have to have already demonstrated your conviction to do likewise, and that means going from door to door yourself [in the company of experienced JWs]. Don't you think that would require absolute conviction of your belief?
JWs receive ongoing training and encouragement to be able to carry out that work, in fulfillment of Jesus prophecy that he gave at Matthew 24:14. No other religious group has demonstrated that they have the courage or Bible understanding to do so.
May I suggest that you attend one of their Sunday public talks so you get a feel for the sort of people JWs are? You could talk with your b/f about it but I would recommend that you do this on your own and go to a different meeting than his where he won't be a distraction. Their meeting times are posted at the front of their Kingdom Halls. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
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You've already received some fantastic responses, Tiffany, and I hope you will try some of the suggestions my spiritual brothers and sisters have given you.
There is nothing better than being a part of Jehovah's worldwide loving organization, and hopefully you will choose to do the same after your research, prayers, and study.
And later, we'd all love to know how it all turns out for you both.
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Most times when I read these type of questions, I want to say: leave our brother or sister alone etc, but not with this one!
My heart goes out to you both because it is obvious our brother is as in love with you as you are with him and also obvious that he loves Jehovah - but struggles horribly with living up to his dedication!
You sound like a lovely and genuine young lady sweetie but sadly. The trouble is and this is the hard part to grasp: him falling in love with you is causing him problems with Jehovah. So this is what I would do it I were you, even though it is going to be very hard!
I actually do sense that you are wanting to know our Creator for that sake - rather than because you are in love - even though, of course, that is there too. But it seems to me that you are the stronger one out of the two, in which case, if you can - you have to ask him what he thinks about marrying you? I risk a lot saying that because first you are still very young at 19 and second, we are urged to marry on in the Lord - but I know of some who have married outside of the truth and had no repercussions heaped on them. I also think that despite you not being a witness yourself, that you actually will encourage him to draw closer to Jehovah - rather than hindering him and believe me Tiffany - loving Jehovah is not a private club and only a few are allowed to enter! On the contrary, Jehovah wants us to be on His side. So what I would strongly do is accept a study from us and go from there - but you HAVE to abstain from having sex with our brother - for both your sakes!
He is a very troubled and well, sorry but very weak person but just perhaps you are the one who can make him stronger:D
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Originally Answered: Are the Jehovah Witness a cult?
No. Calling Jehovah's Witnesses a "cult" in the common pejorative sense is just a biased ad hominem attack. Calling any other religion a "cult" is just a simple minded method of prejudicing others so that they will not use their reasoning and look at the real facts.
In actuality, Jehovah's Witnesses can PROVE that all their beliefs are from God's Word. And their only leader is Christ Jesus and they do not follow any human. On the other hand, other religions have proven that they have rejected Biblical teachings and they do not imitate Christ. Instead they follow human teachers. So these "mainstream" religions are more accurately described as "cults."
The true Church would not be in the majority (Mt.7:13,14), but would be condemned as a "sect" and a "cult" (Ac.24:14; 28:22).
A primary sign of a cult is that they want to isolate their members from outside information. Yet, to be a Witness you are REQUIRED TO talk to people of all religions, including ministers and scholars, who will challenge your beliefs and force you to continue to research your own beliefs and support them from the Bible. No Witness can escape being confronted by opposing arguments, anti-Witness accusations etc. Outside of the admonition to avoid hate literature, Witnesses are never asked to avoid talking to those who don't agree with them.
However, other religions constantly discourage and outright tell their members not to talk to JWs. So who really deserve the "cult" description?!!
On the other hand, how do other religions rate on the "mind control" issue? We are constantly faced with people of other religions who cannot explain their own beliefs, and know nothing about arguments against their doctrine.
Cults cannot support their belief from the Bible and so the majority of their members always lack the ability to give evidence from the Scriptures. This is a good description of Christendom, but virtually EVERY Witness can give a Scriptural reason for what they believe.
Another tool of cults is misrepresentation and avoidance of facts. Even when people of other religions are told to talk to us they are often encouraged to use emotive accusations rather then a discussion of Scriptural themes--such as dismissing others as a "cult." So Witnesses are not the ones' using "mind control."
And when it comes to "controlling" people both Catholics and Protestants tortured, burnt people. Today their main tactic is to keep their flock ignorant and use social pressures and prejudice.
Therefore Jehovah's Witnesses are not a cult!
Through extensive study individual Jehovah's Witnesses have come to trust the accuracy of the information the Watchtower presents. Through experience they have proven that all True Christians are associated with Jehovah's Witnesses and this organization is the only one which gives solid evidence of being God's congregation. So, we do not blindly follow any organization but we also recognize those who give evidence of accurate Biblical teaching and are obedient to them (Heb.13:17,24; 1 Thes. 5:12; 1Cor.16:16)
When we see how weak, unreasonable, illogical, and downright false these other opposing arguments and beliefs are then we are even more convinced that we have the Truth and are part of the Christ's True "Church" today (Dan.12:3; Mat.13:39-43).
David Hume said: "A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence." And this is what we should do when someone calls another religion a "cult" or "false prophets."
All we have to do is quickly point out that other religions are willing to go shoot members of their own church in war, allow fornication, disagree on doctrine and even remove the Divine Name from God's Word & etc. All of these things result in God's curse upon anyone who makes common cause with such imitation Christians (Mat.15:7,8; 23:27; 1Cor.6:9,?10; Rm.1:24-32; Rev. 22:18,19).
All Witnesses do is to invite others to do the same, critically examine your beliefs in light of the plain and explicit teaching of Scripture and the evidence in the actions of your religion and its members, then choose to follow Christ closely (Rom.10:1-3; Eph.1:17).