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Best guy friend has all but ditched me for his new girl (we're adults). Any advice?

Best guy friend has all but ditched me for his new girl (we're adults). Any advice? Topic: New girl the sister
June 20, 2019 / By Elric
Question: I could use some advice and support. In a nutshell, we've gone from hanging out 3 or more times a week to once every 2 or 3 weeks since he found his new girl, and even then I feel like I have to beg to get an hour of time from him. **The story, if you care to read it: ** I'm in my late 20's and met Dave about 5 or so years ago when we worked at the same place. Within a couple months we were dating and we were together for nearly a year and a half. We split up, spent a summer not talking (but not being nasty at each other either) and we became friends again just before I moved 4 hours away. We kept in touch and visited each other, and besides one close guy friend he had, we were each others' closest friend. Neither of us really had many other friends, but he and I just got each other and could have the best time together even doing nothing. We both are a little odd but for the most part we perfectly understood each others' quirks. We started the friends-with-benefits thing when we visited each other after I moved away. Two years later I moved back to my hometown, which was 15 minutes from his place. We saw each other usually 3 times a week, sometimes more, usually just as friends but with 'benefits' thrown in weekly or so. We talked about it and knew we wouldn't be together again; we even tried a very short mock run of "would it work out to be together again?" and found out that just friends was the way to go, and we stopped 'benefits' this spring. We talked about how each of us were back to looking for a girlfriend/boyfriend. (We had each dated around at least a little just after we broke up, and had both had other romantic interests while I lived away.) Starting last summer when I moved back to the area, all through this spring, we saw each other two or three times a week. After benefits stopped I only saw him about half the amount (although, believe it or not, he's not the type of guy who would stay friends with someone for just sex). Then our weekly addiction (The Office) ended for the season and suddenly he wasn't around really at all. I've seen him once every two or three weeks since then. Being that he's been my only close friend (besides my sister who lives 5 hours away) for 5 years, I felt a huge loss when he fell away. I even went so far as to ask him to please honestly tell me what was so wrong with me that he wouldn't give me any time, so I could change for the better. His reply was that I'm fine, I'm perfect, don't change but he's seeing someone so, quote: "I don't have the bulk of time for you anymore". This just after he canceled plans we'd made two weeks ago for this Friday due to his guy friend's kid's birthday party he just learned of. Lame. *** We've been such good friends, whether or not you include the 'benefits' part of the relationship. I get that his new girl is high priority, and that out of respect for her she should be his best friend. But I've been completely kicked to the side of the road and have been fighting for even a scrap of his time. Part of me wants to throw the remainder of this friendship in the trash instead of being treated like dirt. I'm starting to focus on cultivating other friends, which feels good. But what to do about the 'friendship' between Dave and I?
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Best Answers: Best guy friend has all but ditched me for his new girl (we're adults). Any advice?

Clare Clare | 3 days ago
Life happens ..sigh...its just seems that u learnt it the hard way...dnt wry...u;ll find a good frnd some where agn.....which is very obvious ull find one ......but a frnd that can replace ur best frnd(Dave) ...i cant guarantee ..have to move on until he realizes the loss ......u cant change him ...jus let the time make him realize or make him forget .....thers a famous saying ..."Theres always a reason for the frnds who are not with you in the present"...jus be cool make new frnds ...i mean make good frnds...who give u confidence rather than leech it from u.....and Show Life how good you are ....in Succeeding in it......hope you find a good frnd....tc ........
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Clare Originally Answered: Best guy friend has all but ditched me for his new girl (we're adults). Any advice?
Life happens ..sigh...its just seems that u learnt it the hard way...dnt wry...u;ll find a good frnd some where agn.....which is very obvious ull find one ......but a frnd that can replace ur best frnd(Dave) ...i cant guarantee ..have to move on until he realizes the loss ......u cant change him ...jus let the time make him realize or make him forget .....thers a famous saying ..."Theres always a reason for the frnds who are not with you in the present"...jus be cool make new frnds ...i mean make good frnds...who give u confidence rather than leech it from u.....and Show Life how good you are ....in Succeeding in it......hope you find a good frnd....tc ........

Ammiel Ammiel
Not to be harsh, but chances are you see the friendship as much more than it is. Sounds to me like this guy just considered you to be a F-Buddy, which would naturally end once he started dating someone else. Basically, this guy is in a relationship now, and you aren't. You have more free time than he does, so you're better off finding a new friend. Let the Dave friendship die off- since he isn't fighting to keep it going either.
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Tina Tina
Coming from a guy, to answer your question: No, guys do not respect girls who give it up easily. They may like or lust after those girls, they may even have a relationship with those girls, but they usually don't really love or respect those girls, they're just with them for one reason. If you just want to have fun then go ahead. I'm not saying it's wrong I'm just saying you won't get respect, and if that's what you're looking for then I wouldn't recommend it.
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Royse Royse
okay so i read all of it and i think hes just exited to have a new girlfriend. He will start to relax about it soon. and hey, if i forgot about someones birthday party i would cancel too! Im glad ur making friends tho.
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Royse Originally Answered: ADVICE, PLEASE! Can't tell if I have a chance with a guy. (Guys and girl advice, please)?
The biggest thing is what your gut tells you about him. Gut feelings are usually right, as long as you don't over think it. It is really hard to tell what people are thinking sometimes. He may be unsure about how you feel toward him and he may be getting the same mixed messages that you are. If you want to try to stand out as being more than friendly, do something a little more than friendly, that you don't do for anyone. Maybe cook him dinner one night when you are working on the script. Cook a pasta sauce at your place, and then bring it over to his and cook the pasta there. I have been been in a lot of mixed message situations. Sometimes the other person is just doing things by accident, but other times they are really into you. In one case, the person denied it, then later admitted that he actually was flirting with me. As I said before, trust what your gut tells you and go from there. Don't be afraid to do something special and deliberate for him. Put the idea in his head that you are into him. Don't play mind games (because that really pisses me off) but put the offer or idea out there. Good luck, and thank you for answering my question.

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