How to React When Grown Sons Who Abandoned Their Mother Finally Come Around?
Topic: How to write a call to action
June 19, 2019 / By Alerick Question:
My 2 grown sons stopped talking or answering my calls (I am the Mother). The younger son who is 23 made up a story about me that I called his job 11 times and got him fired, because he actually DID get fired on his own and was ashamed to admit it was his fault. This son has always lied, yet he has a way of getting others like his older brother and girlfriend to believe things are my fault.
This resulted in my eldest son not telling me my birthday gift to him was stupid and I am a bad Mother. Also, neither of them have answered me or communicated for 5 months. I was so very hurt and tried so hard to get them to write or call, but I was ignored. Also, when I did not give them enough money, they always resented me.
Now it is my birthday, and I saw on my caller ID both of them tried to call me.
I am SO angry now.
Any suggestions on how to re-act? Should I try to phone them back even if they lied about me and told all their friends (adults also) I was no good?
I do not have any idea what to say if I do talk to them.
You guys, thanks, but allow me to add that I phoned them daily for 5 months with no answer.
Also, I FLEW to where they live 3 months ago and they said they are not ready to talk to me and if I stayed they would telephone the police!!!
Also, everytime they used to call was ONLY for more money, money.
Up to this point I have given between both of them 24,000.00 and they need more!!!
Yes, I am still angry and have been put thru 5 months of torture not knowing even why they were angry at the start...
Best Answers: How to React When Grown Sons Who Abandoned Their Mother Finally Come Around?
Tami | 8 days ago
You don't have to make it a big deal. You can just talk to them, they probably just want to say Happy Birthday. You can leave it at that. You don't have to smother them with love and affection, nor do you have to be a cruel person because of how they treated you. Be honest with yourself and them. If you need to say something, say it. They probably will have to earn your trust again and this can take a long time, being that they lied about you and bitter to you. Feel free to tell them that you were hurt by their actions. You don't need to hold anything in and take a bunch of their garbage just because you're their mother. They might need to hear you stand up for yourself. Anyway, it's up to you how who you want to be. You can be an angry person with them, spiteful and hard to them. You can be loving and forgiving. You can be neutral. You get to decide, neither path is necessarily right or wrong.
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Originally Answered: My husband abandoned me and cheated me for visa?
I don't know divorce laws in the UK, so I would suggest you go to your local legal office or call a lawyer asap.
Or you could try googling and researching divorce laws in your country.
They are reaching out, and this makes you angrier? And if neither of them had even attempted to talk to you on your birthday - that would have been better?
Look, I'm not blaming you for being upset with your sons - you have the right to be, and it sounds warranted. But don't STAY angry over this stuff - they are becoming adults, now. They are figuring it all out. One day, they will probably even realize the things they did to you were hurtful and wrong. You'll want to be on speaking terms when that day comes. I think if they made an honest to goodness attempt to make you feel happy on your birthday (which they did), you ought to try letting bygones be bygones.
Unless your goal is to remain angry and never speak to them again, call them back. The past is the past - the only way you'll feel better about this, the only way you will be able to let it go and move on is if you CHOOSE to. So decide to stop being angry, and then do it.
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This sounds very fishy, plus the story is one sided. There is no real advice you can get from this. Are you truly, absolutely, certainly, 100% sure that you aren't just looking for confirmation?
I assume that they called you to wish you a happy birthday. The fact that it made you angry is very disturbing and is a sign that something is fishy and that not all is like you imagine it.
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Just take their calls, see what they have to say. You do not have to do a lot of talking. If they want money say no. Obviously love cannot be bought and if you cannot afford to give them money then do not give it.
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Originally Answered: Can a 15 year old expecting mother get like welfare even though shes not a single mother?
I would think it depends on which area you live in. I know for a fact that where I'm at teen mothers can get on welfare, if whoever they are staying with income qualifies. Since you don't work, they would take in consideration your parents income.
It wouldn't hurt to go to your Human service department and ask.
You could always get a part time job. My cousin got knocked up at 15 and that's what she did .Her sister got pregnant at 17 and she ended up working at Subway and ended up being the store manager after being there for 5 years.
Welfare is for ALL needy mothers...regardless of age or marital status.
Whoever said that you couldn't get welfare since you're underage is lying. We keep hearing teen moms bashed and the main reason is " that's where MY tax dollars are going". Tax dollars are also going to support low lifes in prison...but where's the complaining there....
I wouldn't be afraid to look into part time jobs at a fast food place or a store,etc. The boyfriend should definitely start putting in 30 applications a week. I would hit every gas station, fast food,etc in your town and anything within a 20 mile radius. He needs to be responsible and help support your baby.
ETA: Why would ANYONE abort a 20 week baby....at that age you can feel them move around and stuff...it makes the pregnancy so much more "real". I would NEVER suggest someone to abort a living breathing little thing. There are other parasites that get our tax dollars... prison inmates...i knew a guy that said that prison life was great- free meals,etc.
People need to get off their high horse when it comes to taxes. We get some of it back each year. Some of us don't pay in millions or more each year like some super super rich folk do.
Also welfare isn't just for teen/young mothers, its for anyone that "qualfies". I know families that were never on it because they had well paying careers then they lost their jobs and ended up on public assistance. I also knew a guy that kept griping about where his tax dollars were going to welfare and he ended up loosing his well paid job and what do you, ended up getting some public assistance himself! Nothing is EVER guaranteed in this life. You can have it all then in a second LOOSE it ALL. People should never take anything for granted or bash people less fortunate then themselves...because who knows, in the future the roles could be reversed and the basher is the one that gets bashed for being on welfare...that's called KARMA.