Topic: Can you send me the homework club
April 21, 2019 / By Allen Question:
We recently visited a nearby "Islamic boarding school" here in Europe. I would like hear your opinions on this.
Our daughter (12) hardly has any Muslim friends here where we live, the only one from a practicing family left her class and now attends a private "Islamic-friendly" boarding school and loves it there. This made us and our daughter wonder if it would come into question for us. That school is too far away though (8 hour drive) and very expensive, but we found this alternative.....
There are 10 - 12 girls living in a house together with 2-3 women-imams taking turns helping, counseling etc. The house has all the necessary facilities of course, and is in a small town one hour away from here. The girls attend the normal local high schools in the area (we have a different school system here so I won´t go into detail) or to a well-known private school which is technically Catholic but has people of all faiths (or none). That is the school which would come into question for our daughter, and it is literally right next door to the house. Some of the girls go to that school and say it is great.
The girls take turns cooking their own food except on the weekends. They have a pretty full planned afternoon, making sure all homework gets done, and also all prayers (done together). After dinner they have a ca. 45 minute Islamic study time (quran or otherwise). It all seems well organized and the girls are not left with much time to fill on their own, nor can they just "take off" and do as they like. But they can participate in school clubs if they like etc.
They go home once a month. The other weekends are spent - Sat. & Sun. am - Islamic lessons, Sun. afternoon complete cleaning of the house by the girls together. The girls either do their own laundry there or bring it home (for mom lol). They organize some small trips (to an large amusement park, or picnics etc) I think maybe every 2 or 3 weeks.
The girls all wear hijabs and even skirts. It is a conservative group but not "extreme" or anything, and they are very sweet. But they do prefer that the girls who come here are already hijabis (this is only because of some troubles they had last year with a girl who decided to wear it a few months after she arrived- This organization got big trouble from local schools & govt. claiming they had forced her. Remember, this is small town Germany, these girls are in the spotlight in such a small town, and southern Germany is not exactly open and tolerant).
BUT our daughter does not wear a hijab (yet). Where we live she hardly gets any feeling of Islam at all, and what she gets is really not encouraging. There are very few Muslims here, it is not like living in a big city where you have many contacts and a lively program for youth at the mosque. She DOES love Islam and has learned to read Quran, but I see that now that she only has non-Muslim friends, she is actually starting to turn away from certain things because her friends might think she isn´t cool. She admits herself that this is the reason and that she really wants to be around more Muslims. Unless we move (which isn´t likely at the moment) I think this boarding school is likely the only thing we can offer at the moment. The alternative is that she might give up wanting to live Islam at all, just be like everyone around her. She says herself she is tired of praying and fasting because she is the only one around who is supposed to do it, and she doesn´t do it if we don´t insist. We´ve seen this with MANY families here, we don´t want the same to happen of course.
I see some really good things about this house - the girls really live as a family, share and learn responsibilities (!) and here they can actually keep up with their prayers WITH all the others, fast together etc. And she can continue her quran studies which I know they take seriously. On the other hand, I´m not sure the girls get out a lot, (I mean doing sports etc) although they did say they were trying to organize horse riding lessons for those interested next year (which my daughter already does, so that is perfect!).
We haven´t made any decisions yet, our daughter will go over to see it for herself next week and stay 2 nights to get to know the girls, the routine etc. I think that she could really do well in this surrounding but I don´t know how she will react to the fact that they are all dedicated hijabis, or to the amount of quran study (which she actually is really good at, so that might just be teenager-laziness lol). What do you think?
Salams, sorry this was long but thanks for your serious inputt!
Just to make it clear, this Catholic school is the one she would attend if she stays in this house. Plus, I know this group, they are NOT extremist at all, totally reliable. Yamanni - yes, this is Turkish, I don´t know which ones you mean though, there are a couple of different groups :-)
Tawny | 10 days ago
im only 17 to answer this..but the islamic boarding school you wrote bout is quite interesting..for your information,im studying in an islamic girls school,and this is my last yr here..im so grateful im here at my school,we're one of the top school here in academic and curriculum..we recite quran every morning before starting our lesson and we perform the zuhr prayer together..im now studying in pure science stream here,at the same time,im studying the islamic subjects as well such as sharia islamiah and quran&sunnah knowledge.im also learning arabic..i think the school you mentioned does not hv so many difference with my school,and i think you should send your daughter there.sorry for my english,good luck! =)
1) My first thought when I see a teenager with a baby is "I wonder if it's there's". Then I look at the baby and see how healthy and happy it is. They usually are, btw. 2) I have a 20 month old daughter. If she came to me in 14 years and told me she was pregnant, I'd be incredibly sad. I wouldn't yell at her because that would make the situation worse. I'd explain to her how hard it is to have a baby and I'd give her all her options including the possible consequences of those options. We'd have a sit down talk with the parents and the father of the child and discuss what was going to happen. If they choose to keep the child, I would help all I could without actually becoming the parent myself. I would make sure my daughter and the father both finished school. By the time my daughter is 16, we will already have had many conversations about sex and birth control. I am hoping to make her comfortable enough with the subject to come to me for advice before something like this happens. 3) I think teenage parents can do as good a job as an older couple but they have to work harder at it. Teenagers, especially younger (14-16) are not really emotionally capable of the sacrafice it takes to raise a child. I know there are many exceptions to the rule. I am generalizing here. You know this already, with your little miracle in the NICU, but raising a baby means you can't be selfish. Teenagers also have the disadvantage of not having a stable financial situation and possibly not being able to finish school. They are not (as much as they think they are) experienced in life yet. Again, I understand there are exceptions; I was a mature teenager. Teenagers do have some advantages however. They are closer in age to their children and less likely to forget what their children are going through as they grow up. They are also more likely to be physically active parents (chasing their kids around the playground rather than sitting and watching). Your situation seems entirely different. You sound like a very mature person and you're almost not a teenager anymore anyway. That is excellent that you finished high school. You are one step further into the world and that much more capable of providing your son with everything he needs. You have a great start in life. I really hope your baby remains healthy and is able to come home on time! Good Luck!
If you and your daughter are interested in this Islamic boarding school then you should go ahead with it. What have you got to lose? It will benefit her in many ways but at the same time you might not be as close to her as you are since she will only get to go home once every month. It could affect her social life because she won't go out as much. Weigh the pros and cons of sending her to an Islamic boarding school and decide for yourself. Good luck!
My parents sent me to a Catholic school. We had other options. I have not regretted a day. I was thought by nuns. I am a graduate now studying psychology. I have friends of all faith and I have never doubted my own. I strongly recommend that you send her to the local Catholic school. Islam encourages knowledge. From wherever obtained. You cannot have her living with an isolated groups of women away from home. Who knows what they will preach to her and how radical they might be. It is too risky.
Edit; Why is your question originating in the U.S?
There is no way I would send my children to an Islamic boarding school. I would homeschool them before that happened and there is no way they would be going to a Catholic school either.
there are some turkish boarding schools in germany which are really useful for children.i think she will adjust there dont worry