Are there any GRAMMATICAL errors in this paragraph?

Are there any GRAMMATICAL errors in this paragraph? Topic: Common errors in writing a paragraph
June 16, 2019 / By Cairo
Question: At the beginning of the designing process, two major themes were selected for the hotel; Eden garden, or a cruise ship. Even though they have little in common, the cruise was chosen as Eden garden is more ordinary, with the a green colour scheme and symbols of gardens and greeneries. Furthermore, since the hotel is situated in Gold Coast near the beautiful beaches a cruise ship theme is extremely pertinent. La Roulette intends to give customers the highest possible experience of sailing a cruise ship on land, with the help of modern interior designing. Sea blues and foamy silvers are to be reproduced in walls, floors, furnishings and fittings in order to increase the expected atmosphere. How do I make it sound more focused?!
Best Answer

Best Answers: Are there any GRAMMATICAL errors in this paragraph?

Alex Alex | 8 days ago
Who said there were no errors? read it again if English is your language! ...with a green colour scheme... La Roulette strives to give customers... of a cruise ship on land (you are not sailing it) ... reproduced ON walls, floors (not in walls), furniture and accessories. (What exactly is the diff between furnishings and fittings?) to increase the desired atmosphere. I agree a re-write could help. It still sounds as if it were written in another language, then translated to English. Example: ... two major themes were selected. I would say, .. two major themes were CONSIDERED. (two were not chosen, only one was chosen)
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Alex Originally Answered: How does this paragraph look? Any grammatical errors or such?
First, sorry, James, but "hers," is right, not "her's." In fact, I can't think of a situation in which one would write "her's." Now, are these two paragraphs the introduction and conclusion to a longer essay in which you compare these two women more specifically, giving concrete examples from the stories in which they appear? If so, then both paragraphs are quite good as they are. However, unless you're writing an essay answer to a test question (in which case we shouldn't be helping you!), it would improve the beginning to mention the works in which these characters appear. You could just insert them this way: "The two characters are distinct in that Clarissa, in _____, has something in her life that she plays an active role in, which is having parties, whereas Susan, in _____, does not have anything . . . ." Then a couple of small things in that first paragraph: (1) Although I usually have nothing against ending a sentence or clause with a preposition, I think your first sentence would benefit from a little rewording--"something in her life in which she plays an active role." (2) Think about putting a comma before "whereas" in the second sentence. It's not mandatory like the one you put after "society" in the same sentence, but it's OK. Try reading the sentence aloud both ways and see which sounds better to you. The second paragraph can stand a little more revision. Here's what I would suggest (changes are in all cape): Susan and Clarissa are two characters who are both restrained in the roles they can play in society. They do not have careers or goals in life besides raising FAMILIES. They’re expected to MARRY, have children, and take care of the everyday responsibilities that come along. This [THIS WHAT? SITUATION?] leads to their unhappiness and questioning of life. The outcomeS of the stories DIFFER because the two protagonists handle their dissatisfaction in life differently. Having a social life and interacting with family and friends can be key, especially when ONE IS depressed. Susan has no friends, and clearly lacks a social life. All she wants to do is be by herself. IN CONTRAST [this is just a suggestion], Clarissa interacts with different people throughout the day, and even sets up a party to bring everyone together. Clarissa is able to find something of her own to focus on in life, even in the constrained position she is in. Actually, the idea of the sentence into which I inserted "one is" might work better in a dependent construction of some sort. You could reword those three sentences as one: "Susan's depression is worsened by her withdrawal and lack of a social life." Then one more sentence at the very end, mentioning both women and saying something like "As a result of their different ways of handling the position life has placed them in, Clarissa prevails and Susan [whatever Susan finally does--succumbs?]" would wrap it all up a little more definitely.
Alex Originally Answered: How does this paragraph look? Any grammatical errors or such?
Both Susan and Clarissa are restrained... Their society does not allow them to have careers or goals in life.... Is Susan content when she is by herself alone? Or is her desire to be alone a sign of her ill health, either physical or mental? The outcome of the stories differs because the two protagonists handle their dissatisfaction in life differently. ... Susan...all she wants to do is be by herself. Is the outcome that she is by herself? Does she GET WHAT SHE WANTS some of the time? Does Clarissa get what she wants some of the time? Do the outcomes differ because the two women have different desires and different goals or do the outcomes differ because one ends up content and the other ends up discontent?

Tamia Tamia
No errors, but I hope it's not for actual use for a business. It lacks focus. It might be better to say "situated in the Gold Coast" Personally, I'd rewrite it totally, once I knew its purpose.
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Rhetta Rhetta
It doesn't make sense, or at best, is unclear. It needs a total re-write. Try making your sentences shorter.
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Rhetta Originally Answered: I just want to know if this paragraph has some grammatical errors. thanks?
Steroids are abused by ATHLETES of all ages, from high school ( ) to professional ( ). Not JUST men use them(;) steroids don’t have any gender barriers. Programs should be accessible to kids in school WHICH talk about the danger of injecting steroids. In the sports world, society loves a winner(;) we compete from the earlIEST stages possible. Some succeed and others will go to great lengths to do so. In some cases athletes use performance-enhancing drugs such as steroids thinking THAT is the only way to develop muscles. They want to develop muscle and strength as fast as they can(,) not knowing the long term effects steroids HAVE IN THEIR BODIES. Steroids are not the only way to accomplish results(;) persistence and hard work also pay( ) off.

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