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Newly diagnosed with Genital Herpes. Worried about getting into dating again because of the stigma attached?

Newly diagnosed with Genital Herpes. Worried about getting into dating again because of the stigma attached? Topic: Stigma research
June 20, 2019 / By Hollis
Question: I found out a couple of months ago I have Genital Herpes. Still coming to terms with having it but learning to accept it more. Doing research on it has helped. It is not as bad as everyone makes it out to be. Especially for me, since I don't get outbreaks. The stigma attached to it is the worst thing about it. I got diagnosed through a routine STD blood test. I do these every year and every time before hand it has come back negative. There was a guy I dated (yes we had unprotected sex, including oral, stupidly) in between the last STD blood test which came back negative and the new blood test that came back low positive. I assumed he gave it to me. I mentioned it to him. He swears he is negative but agrees to get himself tested again after I tell him my news. I go back to the GP. Find out what strand of it I have. I ask him if I had been tested for Herpes the last time I got my STD blood tests done. He says no I haven't. I later on discover that Herpes do not get tested at all in STD blood tests not unless you specifically ask for it. This GP took me literally when I said I wanted everything done and added Herpes into the mix. That is how I discovered I had it. If he had not. I would have never have known I had it! That was how little affect it has had on my life. Assuming if I got it before the last guy I dated. The guy I dated got back to me telling me his test results came back negative. I was glad I never passed on what I had. If I had it before him. Hope he was being truthful about that. It would have been helpful if they did test for Herpes more regularly with STD blood tests. I would have known for sure if he had given it to me or not then but will never know now. All I know is that I found out this year that I have it. Reading about the virus. Has made me realise that it is not as bad as people make it out to be. It put my mind at ease learning about it. It is not life threatening, has no affect in my life in general, not even my work life. I can still have kids, have read successful relationship stories with other people who do have it. I don't even get outbreaks. Told 3 of my closest friends I have it and they have been nothing but supportive. They were just glad that I did not have anything more serious. Feel lucky to have people like them in my life. I don't feel the need to my immediate family about it though. It is not life threatening. The only thing that bothers me about Genital Herpes really, is the stigma that is attached to it. I am worried and anxious about getting back into dating again. It would be great if I could meet someone who has the same condition as me. Then again might meet someone who does not that I like and will have to have the talk with them. Should I still have the talk with future potential partner's even though my Genital Herpes is doormat? I have read about Asymptomatic Herpes as well and Asymptomatic shedding. Just would not feel right not saying anything even though I don't get outbreaks. I would like to hear of experiences people with Genital Herpes have had with dating. Any advice would be appreciated! Especially when giving the talk to a future potential partner. No one disclosed to me they had Genital Herpes. I never got the choice in getting it. :(.
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Best Answers: Newly diagnosed with Genital Herpes. Worried about getting into dating again because of the stigma attached?

Elwin Elwin | 1 day ago
Yes you should still have the talk with your partners. Even when when there isn't a break out there is sill s small chance of passing it on. You never really know if you could pass it on or not and the deserve to know about every thing. Just be honest with them and tell them the truth. Some guys don't see having herpes as a huge deal breaker and they can love some one unconditionally. There are a few that will react badly or even run for the hills but you don't need some one like that in your life, they will only be constantly paranoid about getting herpes if they decide to stay with you. Herpes is a very common infection to have, you may end up meeting some one that has the same thing. If you're really struggling with dating then there are some online sites for people with herpes and stds. I contracted herpes from my boy friend several years ago, we worked things out and we are still living together. This year is out 9th anniversary.
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We found more questions related to the topic: Stigma research


Elwin Originally Answered: How to argue against mental illness stigma?
Crikey what a shame to have parents who don't believe in mental illnesses. This is a tough one really because they'll just keep telling her to pull her socks up and get on with it. Hard to know if this is mental health stigma or just refusal to admit there is anything wrong with their daughter. That may be related to feelings of we can't have failed as parents so we'll pretend it's all fine until it goes away again. In some cases it's related to a family history of mental illnesses that everyone swept under the carpet for years. The best thing right now is for your friend to print off a few small snippets from the internet on depression at least 1 of which should actually say "don't tell them to pull up their socks and get on with it because if they could, they jolly well would" She can try leaving them lying around in the hope someone reads them or if she feels that's not working ask them specifically to read them. It''s also good to find one that says "this illness is considered fatal since 10% of them will attempt suicide and 10% of them will succeed" as that's a vital statistic for them to take on board. Plus one that says 1 in 10 people will be suffering from a mental illness right now and 1 in 4 of them will be mentally ill at some stage of their lives. These are hard facts and difficult to ignore with many many research ;projects and trials based on them. If all that fails then the best option is to get them to accompany her to the doctor where the doc is lined up ready to explain this to the parents. Sometimes they find it easier to accept it if a health professional lays it on the line. Just be there for her and support her as best as you can to make up for these parents who refuse to acknowledge the truth. You are a good friend for her to have, well done for being there for her.

Clements Clements
Yes, there isn't any. Herpes is caused by a virus. Actually, there is little cure for viruses nowadays. The only thing that you can generally do in the case of a viral infection is strengthen the immune system and hope it fights it off. Not with Herpes, the immune system can't win against it. Thus you only get to treat the symptoms. Once you're infected, it stays with you for life. So don't get infected. Personal experience. I have had genital herpes for over 5 years. The #1 Herpes Cure Program?
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Anakin Anakin
There are two types of herpes simplex virus: HSV-1 and HSV-2. Both virus types can cause sores around the mouth (herpes labialis) and on the genitals (genital herpes). Cold sores are caused by the herpes simplex virus (HSV). Cold sores sometimes called fever blisters, are groups of small blisters on the lip and around the mouth. The skin around the blisters is often red, swollen, and sore. The blisters may break open, leak a clear fluid, and then scab over after a few days. They usually heal in several days to 2 weeks. The herpes simplex virus usually enters the body through a break in the skin around or inside the mouth. It is usually spread when a person touches a cold sore or touches infected fluid—such as from sharing eating utensils or razors, kissing an infected person, or touching that person's saliva. A parent who has a cold sore often spreads the infection to his or her child in this way. Cold sores can also be spread to other areas of the body. Luckly there is a cure for herpes https://tr.im/c57e5
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Topsey Topsey
It's like having a cold sore except a cold sore is more public while the genital herps is a private matter. Sucks to deal with. Just tell you partner herpes isn't a disease. It's a life style.
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Ruthie Ruthie
I was tested positive for herpes approximately 6 years ago, when I was still in college and had a stupid onenight stand. I think many of girls will say this but I swear I never did that sort of thing. I just made a mistake that one time and, suddenly, it looked like I was going to have to live with it for the rest of my life. The worst part was feeling I could never meet men again. After all, who wants to go out with a woman who has sores around her you-know-what? But after a friend share this video https://tr.im/bUscv everything has changed. Not only was I able to eliminate all traces of the herpes virus from my system in less than 20 days, but I was also able to start dating again. I even met my soulmate and I'm so happy to say that just last week, in fornt of many people in a restaurant, he got down on one knee and proposed to me! This program gave me back the chance to be happy, and to experience true love.
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Ruthie Originally Answered: How would you feel about dating someone who you knew was dating and sleeping with other people?
He is a player and I think he will tell you whatever he thinks will get you into his bed. He already has three women he's having sex with and wants to "try you out" before making a "commitment"? R U N ! Not good enough, if you ask me. You are right. He should be willing to TRY the faithful line with you before asking you to give your body to him, knowing that you do take sex seriously, and not lightly like he does.

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