Do you think child custody should be split evenly in divorce as a rule instead of the exception?
Topic: Law case stories
June 16, 2019 / By Sierra Question:
Tennessee is looking into making it law.
"A Tennessee bill that would evenly split child custody in contentious divorce cases is drawing national attention and dividing groups along gender lines.
On one side is an alliance of women's groups, some judges and the Tennessee Bar Association, who say the change would make divorces tougher to settle and give abusive ex-husbands leverage they shouldn't have. Spending half of the time with each parent would also impose impractical schedules on kids, they say.
On the other side are fathers' rights groups who say kids get deprived of full relationships with both parents. Courts have too long ignored laws calling for custody decisions to be made in children's best interests, they say, and judges are overly influenced by notions about the mother-child bond."
There are a handful of other states that already do this, though TN would be the FIRST and ONLY to have to prove one parent or the other as unfit in order to have custody be unbalanced. What are your thoughts?
Read the article. I had to sum up. Right now it's generally an automatic 80-20 split and dads have to fight up from there. The "best interest of the children" nonsense rarely comes into play; many, many judges are old fashioned and haven't stepped out of the 1950s.
There are exceptions. But they're adding in a burden of proof instead of automatically assuming the mother is the more-fit parent.
Best Answers: Do you think child custody should be split evenly in divorce as a rule instead of the exception?
Phillida | 8 days ago
Not if there could be no exceptions to the rule. Every case should be looked at individually and fairly by the courts (if the divorcees cannot reach a private agreement), there should never be one rule for all. If the courts did their job and examined each case properly then there should be no need for generalised laws. In one family, 50/50 custody might work best, when in others 80/20 or 90/10 or even 100/0 in extreme cases would be better for the child, for various reasons. This situation should absolutely be determined on what is best for the children, not the parents. One thing that does need to change though is the court's tendency to favour the mother even in the most ridiculous of circumstances. That discrimination needs to stop, gender shouldn't be relevant. I've heard stories where drug addicted mothers with no income and abusive records have been awarded full custody over stable fathers who are model citizens. It's sick, and if the courts can't begin dropping their prejudices of their own accord then laws do need to be passed to ensure sexual discrimination is avoided. But I don't believe the answer to that is slapping a law saying 50/50 in all cases, that just seems like a cop out to me, because it simply wouldn't be in the best interests of so many kids.
ETA: Yes, I would support a law assuming 50/50 to be the general automatic case as long as both mothers and fathers are given the opportunity to fight for more in cases where it may not be appropriate.
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Originally Answered: Please help me with this child custody divorce issue?
Did you call the police and make a written statement about what he did to you and your child? If not, then there is no police report of what actually happened! Why do you not qualify for a protective order?
Did you receive a written letter from his lawyer telling you to return to the city where you used to live? If not, then ignore what your husband is telling you to do! He is trying to manipulate you and scare you! Stay where you are and do not have any kind of contact with him. The only contact you should be having with him is through a letter/s from his attorney! Go to your nearest town or city and seek help from the Legal Aid Society. Legal Aid has attorneys and clerks that will give you free advice about your divorce!
At this point without a protective order with you and the child named in the order there is nothing you will be able to do to keep your husband from seeing his child. Make sure there is a parenting plan set up before your divorce is final stating in the decree exactly when and where and for how long your husband can see the child. Your best way to plead your case is to make sure and show up to the hearing in family court so you can talk to the Judge and let him know about the assault that took place and any other domestic violence that happened. This is your best chance! Tell the Judge that you are staying in a friend's home because you have no means of support and for safety reasons since it was not good for you and your child to remain in the same residence as your husband!
It depends on the state. Even tho your splitting the time u spend in half with the chid there still has to be a custodial parent and the other be a non custidial parent. There's always a primary. And chances of her being primary is almost a guarantee. Since both of you r gonna go half and half. It may.b where no one pays child supp. But it can also b where one pays medical support and the other a small child supp amount. But each state is different. Good luck on that tho. Id imagine it would b hard. Cause she can always change her mind. Like my x wife. And I only c him every other weekend and pay tons of child supp and medical supp. Hope it work outs. My x found out how much id have to pay if I was on child supp then quickly changed her mind.
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Difficult question. If custody was split 50/50 it might stop both parents from using the children as bargaining chips. Ideally, the family court would have the time to judge each case separately.
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I do agree that custody should be assumed 50/50 unless it can be proven one isn't a fit parent or it would harm the child in some way. (innocent until proven guilty)
I think this depends on age as well.
Young children (0-6) should probably be given much more preference to mothers as the majority caregiver.
After that it would depend on schedules such as school and social activities.
I think the concept is right, but a details need to be worked out.
👍 86 | 👎 -4
I don't think it is a good idea when a law puts one over-reaching rule in place that all must follow: whenever that happens, it takes it out of the hands of judges to make a practical, fair decision. Think about all these "Zero Tolerance" laws about weapons in school: on the surface, it seems like a good idea, until we start expelling Cub Scouts for forgetting to take their scout knife out of their book bags, and forcing kids who are Christians into counseling for drawing a picture of Jesus on the cross.
However, I do think it is a pity when parents are so caught up in their petty disputes with one another that they try to bar the other parent from participating in their children's lives. Unfortunately, there really is no simple answer that will fix this problem in every case.
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i don't think there should be an "automatic" anything ... whether it be joint custody, preference for the mom, or preference for the dad. kids and families are not widgets, and the goal should be to figure out what's best for the child. when mom and dad live in the same school system and are both nurturing, probably joint custody is a perfect solution. when mom lives in vermont and dad lives in california and dad's a great parent but mom is an abusive drunk ... not so much.
👍 72 | 👎 -12
No, I just don't think it's practicle.
What about the parents who don't want to see their kids? To have 50/50 forced upon them could harm the children.
👍 65 | 👎 -16
Originally Answered: Pending Divorce and Custody Issue with New Friend Around Child?
He has to right to come back and make a fuss over anything he wants too. Whether it will amount to anything is a whole different story. He can drag this out for months or years, if he has the money to keep an attorney this long.
If he does not like the terms, yes he can come back and try to have it changed. Until he signs those papers, and a judge signs off on it as well..it is still open for change.