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Please help me correct my 200 word essay?

Please help me correct my 200 word essay? Topic: Doing good things essay about myself
July 18, 2019 / By Matt
Question: I am absolutely horrid at writing essays so I need your help please the essay must be between 200 and 300 words the essay doesn't have to be spectacular but it must fit the proper guide lines of an essay the essay must answer the following questions what is the greatest thing you have accomplished in your life thus far? What is your biggest disappointment? What are your career goals? How do you feel a Paul Mitchell Schools education would benefit your career goals? The greatest thing that I have accomplished in my life is getting it back together when I felt that I had every reason not too. The last year of high school is supposed to be the best but things didn't work out like that for me. Academically I was doing well in school but my personal life shortly began to interfere. I began to struggle with relationships between me and my parents. My parents were going through a divorce and it felt like my life was being ripped into two. I became very depressed and my attendance was suffering. I decided to drop out of school. When things in the divorce started to settle down and sort its self out I began to think about going back to finish school. My mother motivated me to do everything that I needed to do to get back into school and finish my remaining credits. Once I had graduated with my high school diploma it was time for me to start setting up the steps to a good career. I put together a resume and noticed that I was unsure of what career path I wanted to lead. My mother who has always lead me in the right direction and supported me asked me what it is I love to do. I realized that I have a passion for ding other peoples hair and makeup.
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Best Answers: Please help me correct my 200 word essay?

Jo Jo | 3 days ago
The greatest thing that I have accomplished in my life is getting it back together even though I felt that I had every reason not to. Though the last year of high school is normally supposed to be the best, things didn't quite work out like that for me. Academically I was doing well in school, but my personal life shortly began to interfere. I began to struggle with relationships between me and my parents - they were going through a divorce and it felt like my life was being ripped into two. I became very depressed and my school attendance was suffering. I decided to drop out of school. When things in the divorce started to settle down and sort its self out I began to think about going back to finish school. My mother motivated me to do everything that I needed to do to get back into school and finish my remaining credits. Once I had graduated with my high school diploma it was time for me to start setting up the steps to a good career. I put together a resume and noticed that I was unsure of what career path I wanted to lead. My mother who has always lead me in the right direction and supported me asked me what it is I love to do - I realized that I have a passion for ding other peoples hair and makeup.
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Jo Originally Answered: Please help me correct my 200 word essay?
The greatest thing that I have accomplished in my life is getting it back together even though I felt that I had every reason not to. Though the last year of high school is normally supposed to be the best, things didn't quite work out like that for me. Academically I was doing well in school, but my personal life shortly began to interfere. I began to struggle with relationships between me and my parents - they were going through a divorce and it felt like my life was being ripped into two. I became very depressed and my school attendance was suffering. I decided to drop out of school. When things in the divorce started to settle down and sort its self out I began to think about going back to finish school. My mother motivated me to do everything that I needed to do to get back into school and finish my remaining credits. Once I had graduated with my high school diploma it was time for me to start setting up the steps to a good career. I put together a resume and noticed that I was unsure of what career path I wanted to lead. My mother who has always lead me in the right direction and supported me asked me what it is I love to do - I realized that I have a passion for ding other peoples hair and makeup.
Jo Originally Answered: Please help me correct my 200 word essay?
You have got a few 'aggravating' issues here - for illustration, when you speak of your fascination with race cars on your childhood, you must say, " I admired their ...." the following sentence wants transforming. Do you mean, "This fascination aroused a wish to pursue my dream of fitting a race auto driver" will have to be plural for race car playing cards, unless you best amassed one card. When everyone ....All day lengthy, "I SAT" (was once constantly sitting) by means of, not throught once more, 'The curiosity leads me" is not really proper. "Curiosity led me to a whole new level..." once more, pluralize race automobiles in the subsequent sentence. Engineering is singular, even though you have named three exceptional types. I believe you 'purchased' hundreds and hundreds of magazines, no longer introduced? Finding out to power 'Kart race cars' i am hoping you achieve your purpose.

Gorden Gorden
You have got a few 'aggravating' issues here - for illustration, when you speak of your fascination with race cars on your childhood, you must say, " I admired their ...." the following sentence wants transforming. Do you mean, "This fascination aroused a wish to pursue my dream of fitting a race auto driver" will have to be plural for race car playing cards, unless you best amassed one card. When everyone ....All day lengthy, "I SAT" (was once constantly sitting) by means of, not throught once more, 'The curiosity leads me" is not really proper. "Curiosity led me to a whole new level..." once more, pluralize race automobiles in the subsequent sentence. Engineering is singular, even though you have named three exceptional types. I believe you 'purchased' hundreds and hundreds of magazines, no longer introduced? Finding out to power 'Kart race cars' i am hoping you achieve your purpose.
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Gorden Originally Answered: What is the correct sentence, I need help with my essay.?
I really like the first one, but I would like to make a suggestion: Aside from this, there are several issues that have affected my community.
Gorden Originally Answered: What is the correct sentence, I need help with my essay.?
Along with this, there are a few more things that have affected my community Along with this, there are a few other things that have affected my community. i would choose to go with one of those, but i can't say for sure b/c i don't know what else you have to say.

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