I don't want an abortion?
Topic: Prepare for worst case scenarios
July 20, 2019 / By Tera Question:
I am pregnant (19), my boyfriend(22) says that I am too young to have it, I have always said I refuse to have an abortion because I don't agree with them. I believe my purpose in life is to be a mother, that's all I want. My children mean so much to me, although I don't have any yet, I don't want to do adoption either. I'd never forgive myself for either, but I don't want to force my boyfriend to have our baby.. But what should I do?
Best Answers: I don't want an abortion?
Ronnette | 9 days ago
You should stay true to what you believe. I was the same. I was back and forth about making my partner who is also 22 like yours, a dad. But there was no way I was going to put myself (or the baby) through the emotional and physical damage of an abortion. I discussed with my partner how I felt, we discussed adoption, but I knew that there was no way I would ever be able to give up my baby.
It was a really hard time to decide what we were going to do. But the answer was always there. to keep it. Because nothing else was an option.
We did have a lot of bumps for a while, figuring out how we were going to afford things, where we were going to live. But they are all things that get worked through.
You shouldn't feel guilty about your boyfriend becoming a dad at 22. After all, you both participated in the deed! He should know it was always a risk, and therefore should be prepared to look after you and the bub!
If he does get angry about the baby, and for some reason (worst case scenario) walked away from you, there is so much around to help young solo moms that you can do it alone! :)
This baby is apart of you and your boyfriend, he may not be so warm to the idea now, (Hes probably in shock remember!) but as your pregnancy goes on, you will both have so much fun! And will become a stronger couple.
Just don't be pressured doing anything you know you dont want to do!!!
There is so much I can tell you, I know exactly what you are going through!
PS. 19 is not too young!
👍 286 | 👎 9
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Your "boyfriend" should have been a little more cautious when it came to protection if he didn't want any children. As for you, good for you for not wanting to abort. Adoption is not a bad thing. It gives a family incapable of having children a blessing and gives the child a better life you couldn't provide. There's pros and cons to abortion and adoption. But to answer your question your boyfriend CANNOT make you get an abortion or adopt the baby out. He can however be a loser and stay out of you and the babies lives if you wanted to keep it.
👍 120 | 👎 4
If your boyfriend is trying to force you to have an abortion, that should be a red flag to you that he's probably not going to be around forever anyway. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. If you don't want to have an abortion, don't have one. What will happen is, He will either leave you ( im sorry, a break up is inevitable if you want kids and he doesn't, and it sounds like he doesn't ) or he will eventually realize that you were right in your decision. Either way it is YOUR decision. Any man that would try to force this unto the woman they are supposed to love, isn't a man at all, in my opinion.
👍 112 | 👎 -1
Do you want to end your baby's life so you can stay with him? Is your boyfriend really that important? I would have the baby no matter what. If things don't work out with your baby daddy rememeber that it's not the end of the world and there are plenty of fish in the sea. I'm 19 as well and pregnant. And my boyfriend is 22. I love him to death and want to be with him forever, but if I had to choose. I would choose the baby.
👍 104 | 👎 -6
First off I want to say that I give You a lot of credit for wanting to keep your baby. If your boyfriend does not want You to have the baby, then being a single mom, may be your only option. But make sure You explain to him that You want your baby and if he doesn't You don't want him to feel forced. I hope You have a good support system, like family and friends to be there for You and the baby. Good luck to You.
👍 96 | 👎 -11
all I now is you should do what you believe in and not what your boyfriend wants you to do.. and if he is trying to make you have an abortion then he is not for you.. and he might have someone else that's he is with besides you..I don't understand why he would say your to young to have a baby, but you wasn't to young to open your legs for him.. not trying to judge him but he needs to really get his mind set right...and if you do decide to keep the baby and he leaves then ol well.. do what you have to do to take care of the baby and be a women about it..
👍 88 | 👎 -16
tell your parents. explain how you feel to them and how you want to keep the baby. I think you should do what in your heart feels right. I may have to make the same decision. you may be raising this child without your boyfriend, and you can't depend on him right now. this is your decision, but he might not support it. make sure you get a parent or teacher or someone that can offer you support on your side. It might be a good idea to go to counseling, with or without your boyfriend to help prepare you for the emotion journey. good luck
👍 80 | 👎 -21
I think you should have the baby .. What if you can't have kids later on after having an abortion.. Plus your bf should grow up & accept this.. Why is he with you if he's not planning a future with you.. You should keep your baby please
👍 72 | 👎 -26
Originally Answered: Should I get an abortion?
You are in a tough place considering your living situation,being unemployed and recovering from your dads suicide. The father is a selfish mammas boy who betrayed your love and trust and it's understandable that you believe tying the baby to him through child support would make your life even more difficult.You can get full custody without ever having to see the creep again, and get a bit of revenge on his manipulative mother by agreeing to the freaking blood tests. This insulting demand works to your advantage. It gives you the tools to nail him through the courts,which will very effectively make him pay child support .Ask yourself if one reason for considering an abortion is to punish him, because you know it's his and the wicked witches grandchild! Revenge is best served cold, and paying 18 years of child support (21 if they go to college) would be rather sweet revenge and sufficient punishment for his betrayal, don't you think? But the reality is that abortion punishes you and the child and that bum gets off scott free because "problem solved".
I know alot of women who went through the gamete of emotions early in pregnancy about whether or not they could deal with the responsibilities of raising a child, weighed the abortion option and decided not to go with abortion, but to have it. Now they say it was the best choice. Perhaps this is what you need to shake off the depression and despair you have been experiencing. Babies are hope for the future, a new beginning that brings many gifts and opportunities for growth to the mother. You truly fall in love for the first time when you look in to the eyes of your newborn and receive that unconditional love back.Going through with the pregnancy might give you the opportunity to start concentrating on the positive possibilities your future holds and the chance to look at the glass half full instead of half empty. It's a great motivator to start eating healthy, exercising,examine all your own wonderful qualities that you have to offer , and experience the awesomeness and wonder of pregnancy. I loved being pregnant ( except, to be honest, for the last month when getting around got tough!) As life grows and moves within you one developes a clearer sense of purpose and more positive mindset about where life can go.
You might also consider adoption. A positive pregnancy that offers hope for a better future for another women who desperately wants a child and cannot have one would take on a whole new meaning and you would also be offering this child a chance at life. This child could very well be pivotal in the lives of many, either yours or the adoptive family. I have a friend who gave her child through adoption, they connected again when he was in his early 20s, and she now enjoys a great friendship and 3 grandchildren, none of whom would be here if she'd opted for abortion.He has thanked her for not having an abortion.