Cutting down the guest list.who can I eliminate?

Cutting down the guest list.who can I eliminate? Topic: How to write a cutting list
July 20, 2019 / By Byron
Question: Im getting married, and planning the wedding. I want a VERY SMALL wedding, one of the reasons being I have very little money to put into it and I still want it to be beautiful. If I had it my way I would cut out my entire family but I don't want to upset them. Like my aunts and uncles that I never see, or my cousin who lives in Japan. I sat down and first wrote down the people I HAVE to invite and its already up to 100 people....and thats just the immediate family (moms, dads, siblings, siblings families, 1st cousins, aunt and uncles) I know people are going to be upset if I cut them out, especially those cousins who have recently gotten married. I undserstand having to invite my fiance's family, which does take up about 55 people but thats because we actually see them, live with or very near them and happen to be very close to them. I've estranged from my parents since I was about 17 and really have no contact with that family except for special occasions (my cousins, aunts, uncles don't even know of my family's issues, or that I have not spoken to them for years) Im feeling very over whelmed and its only the invitation list!! Who can I cut out......and how do I let the people I don't invite know that I didn't mean to come across as rude?
Best Answer

Best Answers: Cutting down the guest list.who can I eliminate?

Aldus Aldus | 10 days ago
Maybe if you had a destination wedding, the guest list would cut itself down. Otherwise, you can always cut down the expenses of the wedding by not feeding everyone, or maybe just providing Hors d'Oeuvres and soft drinks. I believe that food tends to be the largest expense in planning a wedding, as the more people you have to feed, the higher the cost is. Most importantly, remember that it's YOUR wedding, so you really only have to invite people that you and your fiance want there, and don't worry about what everyone says. It's YOUR day, not theirs.
👍 248 | 👎 10
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Aldus Originally Answered: What should I alter guest list or party venue?
Whoa! That is a lot! I would prefer you invited your closest and dearest friends only! Are you a teen or an adult? If you're a teen... be prepared!!! If you are an adult, chances you will get guests... Here what you can do. Can you find out from this Ghost tour that if they have any “special discounted” and/or “discounted group package” that can help you out a lot!!! $15.00 would have been great. $30.00 is a hard one. Hopefully this entertainment is more than 2 - 4 hours of fun!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~... Invitation Help --- First the easy part - what details to include in your party invitation. Date - Always include the day along with the date. Example: Saturday July 11, 2009 Time - Give the start and end times for your party. Example: 1:00 - 3:00 PM Place - Your house address or location of the party place. Hint - It is always good to draw a map on the back of the invitation or include one on a separate piece of paper. For - Include the your name (birthday person) and how old are you going to be. Example: Chi Chi 's 15th birthday celebration! RSVP - Include parent’s names, phone number and an email address on the invitation RSVP line. Some parents are shy about calling other parents or too busy to pick up the phone, but they will take the time to email (well, most of the time!). RSVP used to mean please let us know if you will not attend. It is a very important piece of party planning information - as any party planner knows. But today many people either overlook the RSVP or don't know what it means so they don't respond. A good way around the RSVP is to let guests know how you want them to respond. You can add a comment like this to your invitation – Example: “Please let us know if you are coming so we can prepare enough tickets/group.” {{OR}} “Please call and let us know if you are attending so we can tell (name of place… ghost town) how many to expect.” {{OR}} “Please respond by _(date)_____ so we can expect you.” Asking guests to pay: If your party will be held at a Ghost town – Haunted House, restaurant or other venue and guests will be required to pay for their food or admission then add the price on the invitation. Example: "Admission price to the Ghost Town is $30.00 per person". {{OR}} "We've got great seats for an great entertainment at Ghost town’s Haunted House. Food and Admission will be $30.00 per person." {{OR}} "Each birthday guest will receive 25 tokens! Admission to the Ghost town party is $30.00 person." Also remember to send out the invitations as soon as possible… 2 to 3 weeks advance before the party, so guests will have money by then and most likely will come. Asking for certain gifts, gift cards, money or telling guests where you are registered is considered socially incorrect on the birthday invitation. If guests call you requesting suggestions then it is okay to tell them what you prefer.

Tallula Tallula
Here's what my daughter and son-in-law did. They flew alone to their wedding destination, which happened to be the Figui Islands. They were wed on the beach with some of the hotel guests attending. She had wedding pictures taken of the event to share when they returned. On their 1st year wedding anniversary, all their friends and family were invited to celebrate with them. It was great and no ones feelings were hurt. Maybe you couldn't get away to some exotic place like the islands, but just getting away to someplace else like Vegas, or a little chapel in the valley etc. would do. Tell all those already invited that there has been a change of plans and that they will for sure be invited for the anniversary celebration. Get out of Dodge!
👍 100 | 👎 5

Regina Regina
Stay true to yourselves. Don’t invite people out of obligation. Just because you were invited to your cousin’s wedding, doesn’t mean you have to invite her. Just explain to her and others who haven’t made the cut that you are having an intimate wedding. Given the current state of the economy, some of your guests might actually be relieved that they don’t have to spend hundreds of dollar in travel expenses and wedding gifts. Here are some questions to ask yourself when creating your guest list: Who are the important people in our lives? Is it necessary to invite co-workers? Are we including guests simply out of guilt? (i.e. They invited you to their weddings.) Are we including guests that we haven’t seen within the last year? What if a guest does not have a significant other. Are we allowing guests to bring dates? Do we want to invite children? What about extended family? Is it necessary to invite second cousins and great aunts? It will require strength to deal with people that don’t agree with your decision to have an intimate wedding. Once again, the best way to handle difficult people is with honesty. Tell them the reasons why you are having a small wedding, and that it would be impossible for you to invite everyone you know to the wedding. Not everyone will come around. That’s okay. This is your wedding. Besides, you can always have a casual post-wedding party to include those that aren’t invited to your wedding! I’ve written extensively about small weddings at http://www.intimateweddings.com
👍 91 | 👎 0

Midge Midge
Have your own wedding, then invite family to the reception. Plan a separate event this way it's a celebration of the marriage, not a wedding, more of a party. Then make everyone bring something so you dont have to cater the event and you wont have to worry about the guest list =0) I got married at a beautiful park and thats kinda what we did except my foster dad was a preacher so he married us in the gazebo.
👍 82 | 👎 -5

Lexie Lexie
Evaluate as a priority who you WANT to be there and then people you think will actually come. A lot of people go to weddings they were invited to b/c they feel like they HAVE to and not b/c they want to. Don't stress over it. People stress over stuff that at the end of the day doesn't matter.
👍 73 | 👎 -10

Juli Juli
I would definitely invite immediate family . You have to remember that if some of them live far away they might not be able to make it anyway. You will be shocked at how many people won't be able to attend. I say invite them and save yourself the stress of trying to cut them out. Don't invite extended family though- it's not necessary.
👍 64 | 👎 -15

Githa Githa
Just tell them that the venue is very small and only seats x amount of people. As for inviting those you are not close to well chances are they are not going to come anyway.You could always just have a reception for everyone and still have a small wedding.
👍 55 | 👎 -20

Githa Originally Answered: How do I tell my parents I'm cutting myself?
Cutting is nothing to take lightly. It can easily get out of control. Talk to an adult--ANY adult! It takes a lot of courage to stop. I know, I've been there. I know about the pressure of disappointing your parents, worrying that your mom will go crazy from worrying and being scared for you. I was able to stop, and I know you can too. Do yourself a favor, and overcome it.

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