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My stepmom always gets drunk during the day?

My stepmom always gets drunk during the day? Topic: An alcoholic case story
June 20, 2019 / By Cassiah
Question: She's not really my stepmom, she's my dad's girlfriend. I'll just call her that to keep things simple. Anyway, whenever she has the day off from work she almost always drinks and gets tipsy or drunk.. Even when she knows my dad will be gone on a business trip or he'll be working late hours, she will start drinking early in order to sober up before he gets home. We usually go out to eat dinner on the weekends together, and she will drink during the day (while my dad does repair work on the house or something, so he's out of the house) to get a buzz going, and then once we're out at dinner she'll order wine and proceed to get drunk (then claim she's only had 'one or two drinks' with dinner.) I've told my dad about this, and he's gotten onto her case numerous times. He always threatens her to either get help or leave, but he never follows through. I honestly think he keeps her around because dating is hard and he doesn't want to deal with it. I know her drinking stresses him out because one of the main reasons he divorced my mom after 22 years is because she was an alcoholic. When my dad started dating again, my 'stepmom' specifically said she didn't drink, but now that's obviously coming out as a complete lie. My dad has told me that it's my house, too, so I should confront her. But really, although her drinking bothers me, I feel it's not my place and I don't want to create strife. Most of the time I just avoid her when she's drinking. This situation is very stressful for me, and I don't know how to make it better except to move out. I know it's stressful for my dad, too, because he already has health problems and doesn't need added stress. This lady is no good for him, but he keeps her around for company. He has to deal with all her crap while she gets to live in a nice house with no bills. It's disgusting and annoying. I guess my question is: can anyone recommend a good way to deal with this? I don't want to leave my dad and move but I feel it's the only option at this point. I'm frustrated today and mostly venting about it because she's drunk right now. I'm sitting in my room upstairs and she keeps coming in and babbling about nothing. She keeps tripping up the stairs. And when I went down earlier she was holding my cat, stumbling around, and then dropped her onto her back on the floor. IT'S SO ANNOYING!!!! The cat story is a friggin' minor detail. Don't bother responding to my question if that's the only input you have. And BTW, she dropped the cat from a short distance, the cat hit an ottoman, then dropped onto the ground on it's back. It's not an exaggerated story. The 'cat' is a 'kitten' so it makes sense that her coordination isn't developed as well as an older cat. My older cat has fallen and landed on her side. So whatever, thanks for the stupid reply.
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Best Answers: My stepmom always gets drunk during the day?

Anna Anna | 2 days ago
It's obvious you love your dad very much and worry about the toll his girlfriend's drinking habit will have on him. So please don't feel like it's not your place to say something. It's your dad, (You only get one) and it's his health. You don't have to be confrontational with her. You could first talk to your dad about removing all of the alcohol from the house. It that doesn't work, you can make it clear, you're going to let your dad know every time she has a drink. Also, try to explain to your dad that he doesn't have to put up with this. he's a good man and doesn't deserve someone like that in his life. He deserves someone he can enjoy his life with, and you want to see him happy and healthy. In the end, with your loving support, I hope he follows through and gets her help if he cares for her, or puts her out if she's not willing to do something to help herself. I went through it with my mom and when I turned nineteen, I moved out. Now she's still with him, and to this day, I regret not staying and helping her see reason to get rid of the guy. He has ruined her life. Don't let that happen to your dad. I would say don't leave. Stand by him and help him resolve this so he doesn't get drug down from it.
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Anna Originally Answered: My stepmom is trying to "treat me like her own child"?
Life is different when you are a member of a household, vs. being a guest of a household. When you used to visit on the weekends, you were a guest, and treated as such. Since you've been staying longer, you are no longer a guest, and now subject to house rules. This isn't so much about being a child, but more so about being respectful of the house, and those in charge of that house, that you stay in. House rules.. and all that. Even as an adult, if I were to go stay with someone, for an extended period of time, say longer than a couple of days, I would do my best to be not only respectful of their preferences (read rules), but also to help out and contribute.
Anna Originally Answered: My stepmom is trying to "treat me like her own child"?
Control, ego, she is serving her own need to be in charge or whatever. Regardless....she is crossing the line and HELLO lady boundaries... You need to tell your dad. He need sot deal with this and leave you out of it. Ideally, your Mom and dad would discuss this and dad would fix it. Experts say step parents should NEVER discipline or parent but only enforce and support Mom and dad's rules when they are not around. Eventually, this will cause you to become alienated from Dad and typically leads to step Mom sabotaging and finding ways to keep you from dad in order to get control. There are MANY books, hear me now believe me later. Start with Mom and dad. If they even hint at you talking to step Mom, say NO. This si for the grown ups to fix. You need an advocate. You have a Mom and dad. She has ZERO parental rights unless BOTH parents consent.
Anna Originally Answered: My stepmom is trying to "treat me like her own child"?
She made the mistake a lot of parents make and that is thinking the best way to parent is to be "friends". Now she has another child that she has to set an example for and you can't treat one child one way and another another way. Its got to be the same for all. Also, kids tend to take advantage of parents who act like friends instead of parents and its difficult to get them to understand authority and when you are serious. Some parents think that by acting like friends you will tell them things. But the reality there is some kids talk to their parents about thing and some don't. And again, its hard to reprimand a friend.

Anna Originally Answered: Is this considered rape? When a drunk woman says 'No' six times to a persistent guy?
No, if the women agreed then it is not rape. It does`nt matter if she says no six times, she said yes at the last minute so it is not rape.
Anna Originally Answered: Is this considered rape? When a drunk woman says 'No' six times to a persistent guy?
No I don't think he's a rapist but a pig who took advantage because there was pressure put on her imo. But just the claim that he did rape here in her opinion will do a lot of damage to him and his reputation. So women should really only claim if they are 100% sure it was rape. But I'ts hard for me to say.
Anna Originally Answered: Is this considered rape? When a drunk woman says 'No' six times to a persistent guy?
Good question. Acquiescing is not consenting. There's a big difference. And it is still rape. Any sober woman who had said 'no' sincerely a couple of times and the man involved still kept pushing for sex would probably take a more assertive approach and kick him out of her place. If a drunk woman has said no but he's still hounding her I'm pretty sure it's because she's too incapacitated to keep fighting it.

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