Topic: How to write amazing content
July 19, 2019 / By Donaghy Question:
I started going to church and gave my life to Christ. Six months after breaking up with a girlfriend of two years, I was finally in a happy place living life of self improvement and growth. Eventually, I found out that one of the girls from church was interested in me; However, I did not hangout with her, nor did I find her attractive. Eventually one thing led to another, we began seeing each other all the time, and now we are in a sort of mutual goal to get married in the future. I found out that she is the most amazing, generous, and loving person I know. I can definitely see myself married to her in the future. She has many great qualities and potential in her looks, however she is overweight. She is very short (under 5' 4") but I would not call her obese by any means.(all of her problem is in the abdomen area) She is working out and trying to loose weight, but she is MADLY in love with me. I am very athletic and soon going to be a police officer, thus I have high physical expectations for myself and my spouse. I grew up in a culture where most women are skinny (Europe). I simply can not get myself to like her, nor do I want to lower my expectations. This truly troubles me because we spend a lot of time together and I see the look in her eyes that she likes me a lot, yet although I tell her I like her too, my mind is just not turned on by what I see. I constantly try to give her little hints that I like fit girls, and she knows that very well, because she is trying to lose weight and tries to workout. But she, just like any girl, wants to be liked, and she tells me "if you don't like me just tell me, and tell me if you do, but I need to know where you stand." I can not simply let her go because I know one day I might regret this decision for the rest of my life, but I simply do not know how to approach this situation of the most amazing person on the inside that if were fit would be absolute dream girl, yet currently I'm simply not attracted to her I even feel slightly embarrassed in public.
How can I get her to see what I see because I believe it is a reasonable expectation for me to have, that the girl I need to marry needs to be fit (not supermodel) but just healthy overall. I feel like I am being unfair to her, and I want her to know that that is truly the part that is holding everything back.
Braeden | 2 days ago
I am a man and I will answer this question for you.
Where is it written that you have to date Ms. Skinny or Ms. Athletic? You really should love this woman or any woman you are romantically involved with for who she is as a person. Not for what she looks like.
On the same token, your woman in question should lose the excess weight for her own health benefits. Not to please you or be eye candy for anyone else.
Regardless of who you date or eventually marry, you are going to find out that looks are going to fade away as the two of you get older. Even if you marry a fit woman. What are you going to do should she gain weight having your children? Are you going to dump and divorce her because she put on baby fat? How about when her hair turns grey or she develops wrinkles on her face? You need to understand that looks fade away. Content of character is forever.
Lets flip the script the other way. How would you like it if she were to dump you when you gain weight? Married guys tend to do that. How about when you lose your hair?
You should never fall in love with a look. Sure looks can get attract and get a guy's attention. You should demand that there is more to a woman than just being a pretty face and a night tight body. Who would you rather marry? An average looking woman who is a sweetheart and you can relate to on a personal level or a perfect 10 who is a complete ***** who contributes little to nothing towards a relationship?
Ask any person who is married to their spouses for a long time. They will tell you that they are with their husbands/wives because they love them and they are beautiful to them regardless of what they look like.
You may be seeking someone from a small area, forcing yourself to seek love there. Just know there are many amazing people in the world and it is not limited to people at your church. I don't think she is the girl for you. Try to find someone else where. You don't like her being overweight, that's your choice. Find someone you could respect. Just be open to look for her and to give her the chance to. Good luck.
Your going to break that poor girls heart. If you don't love her, if your embarrassed to be seen with her, if your not attracted to her then leading her on is the wrong thing to do.
You should fall in love with someone because of who they are, what they look like, not what you expect them to become. It isn't fair to expect someone to change for you.