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Wedding etiquette, trying again for a good answer?

Wedding etiquette, trying again for a good answer? Topic: How to write a certificate of service
July 20, 2019 / By Beatie
Question: We're not registering for household items because we've lived together for three years- I am sending out invites to my bridal shower but am not personally throwing my own- just sending the invites out for my stepmother because she has terrible handwriting and asked. So for the question: since we aren't registering for household items, we decided to register for things like couples massages and honeymoon vouchers, which by the way is perfectly acceptable ( they even have honeymoon registry sites) how do I appropriately write this on our wedding website? Should I be specific on spas and honeymoon activities ( links to websites and services offered ) or should I just write out certain things we'd like to do, and give the person the option to find their own place to buy gift certificates. Please, please do not crap your pants thinking I'm a snobby person. My parents came up with the idea, and think it's a wonderful alternative to toasters and bath towels. Oh my gosh. Seriously guys, only like one person actually answered my question. I didn't ask for what you THOUGHT about my idea, I asked how to appropriately convey it in my wedding website. Please. understand that most of you are actually wrong with what "tradition" is for bridal showers. Please read here: Customs and gift-giving Many different customs have developed in different regions and social groups. But the basic format has been relatively unchanged for generations, and emphasizes traditional gender roles. Sociologists like Beth Montemurro write that the ritual of the bridal shower "socializes women into the hyper-feminized traditional wife role," with its emphasis on the future role of the bride-to-be as family cook, homemaker, and sexual partner.[4] Historian Elisabeth Pleck echoes this dynamic in pointing out that traditional shower gifts were "for the bedroom or the kitchen."[5] But this role is more of an homage to the mothers and grandm
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Best Answers: Wedding etiquette, trying again for a good answer?

Adelphie Adelphie | 3 days ago
Bridal showers are to help you set up a household, not for people to pay for a foot rub. You can word ir however you want, but specifically asking for ridiculous massages is obnoxious. People would either a-decline or b- give you a toaster anyway. Registries are guidelines not a list of demands. Honeymoon vouchers??? It is not the responsibility of your guests to send you on vacation, This would offend your guests. If you "do not need anything" do not have a shower. People nowadays know nothing about decorum and socially acceptable behavior. Ugh. What is people supposed to ooh-aah at the shower? opening envelopes??? How trashy and tacky.
👍 234 | 👎 3
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Adelphie Originally Answered: Was this proper wedding etiquette?
Wow Marina, sounds almost identical to the situation with my brother's EX-wife. My mom, stepdad, dad, and I didn't even get formal invitations. She just told my brother to "tell" us that we were welcome to come if we wanted to. I think she already had an idea that we didn't like her @ss before the wedding. She was rude since the first day I met her and no one in my family liked her. So being in a situation similar to yours, I would feel pissed, disrespected, and in awe that someone could be such a rude heifer. I know you feel as if it's none of your business who your friend marries and he'll probably marry her anyway, but if I were you I would go ahead and ask him if he's sure this is the right woman for him. My mom and I were going to have that talk with my brother before he got married. We didn't and he ended up marrying that female dog and getting an anullment three months later. I feel for you cause I know what it's like to see someone get married to someone you KNOW isn't good for them. Your husband responded like my mom by the way. She didn't even go to the wedding and neither did I. I went to Chili's and had some ribs and beers to drown our sorrows. My dad purposely showed up to the wedding thirty minutes late and he was bringing the rings LOL I wish your friend nothing but the best though. Hopefully, that woman is just a bridezilla for the moment...

Teige Teige
The fact that there are honeymoon registries out there doesn't justify it as a proper thing. There are websites out there that promise you a fortune if you send your bank info to a Nigerian prince ... does the fact that these websites exist mean that it's automatically a good idea? Anyway, keep quiet about your registry. Your shower hostess can send out the invites, and if guests want to know what to get you then they'll ask her. Some people just refuse to show up to a shower without a household item as a gift, though. You can tell them a million times that you'd rather have honeymoon vouchers or cash and they'll show up with a toaster anyway. So don't think that a saying on your website, or a cutesy card sent with the shower invites, will make a difference. People who want to give you what YOU want will ask if there's some kind of registry, and people who think its only proper to give a toaster will show up with a toaster no matter what you say or do.
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Phelim Phelim
Sorry dear but you are wrong on a few points here. Your step mother should not be the one throwing your shower because she is a family member and as such should not be hosting a shower which is an open bid for gifts. Second even though someone wants to make a buck off of the ignorance of others, this idea of Honeymoon vouchers and paying for massages is too tacky for words. It is highly inappropriate for you to mention gifts at all much less be suggesting people pay for your honeymoon. This is so wrong on several levals. You do not ask about gifts. People are really under no obligation to give you any thing at all because a wedding reception is a thank you to your guests for them coming to share the day with you. To ask for a gift especially money is just plain wrong no matter how you try to fram it, it is wrong. There is no appropriate way to do this because it should not be done.
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Maachah Maachah
You may be "trying again for a good answer" for quite a long time... because these are good answers, you just don't like them. Showers are both for helping a new couple set up a household, and to watch the opening of the gifts and swoon over them. You mentioned that you don't need any household items, and that you don't want "gifts" (just give cards...) so why are you having a shower? The only acceptable answer here, (and it's not even the best idea in the world) is to skip the shower and put a tiny, barely there comment on your wedding website that these are the types of suggestions you've come up with for your wedding gifts. Either that or don't put anything at all, and tell people if they ask what you'd like/need as a gift.
👍 96 | 👎 -15

Jehezekel Jehezekel
To answer your question: I don't know what your wedding website looks like, but usually there are categories, right? Like "Our Story", "Wedding Plans", "Accomdations", etc. Isn't there one for registries or gift ideas? If so, I would just put the links to the specific places on that page. I think that people would really appreciate that, because, let's face it, no too many people have that much experience with spas and honeymoon activities for other people. I would defintely put the links on the page as opposed to not giving the guests any direction and letting them fend for themselves.
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Jehezekel Originally Answered: WEDDING SPEECH PLEASE HELP! (10 points best answer)?
Write it as if you are speaking to your mom with her new husband standing next to her. Have someone help you fix the grammar, but write it from your heart, so you don't have to memorize the whole thing word for word. Don't worry about being funny or living up to anyone else's expectations - just write it to her, and it will come out the way you mean it. Have someone who is not too close to the situation help you fix the wording, so they don't stick themselves in it or change the meaning. Don't make it too long, and just thank everyone who is special in your lives for helping your mom and her guy (or your stepDad, or whatever you're comfortable with) be so happy.

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