5801 Shares

Anyone willing to read my long story, and give me some advice?

Anyone willing to read my long story, and give me some advice? Topic: How to write a heartbreaking story
July 19, 2019 / By Kelly
Question: So me and my cousin use to be extremely close, best friends, practically sisters. Well her mother (my aunt) is basically a nut. i honestly think she is mentally handicap in some way, and i'm not just saying that because i don't like her. Her mother eventually started treating my cousin very crappy. Called her a whore all throughout her preteens/teens. would make very nasty comments directed towards, etc. And my cousin was a good kid. She eventually started acting out, but if you call a child a whore, she's eventually going to become one, i think. i don't think my cousin stood a chance with a mother like that. Anyway, both of our mothers got into a HUGE fight. And my aunt, who was 45 at the time, started texting me, a 17 year old, and writing very nasty, abusive, and hurtful things directed at me and my family. so i fought back and defended myself. Now me and my cousin afterward promised we wouldn't let the fight hurt our relationship...BUT So one day, i said something to her that got back to her mother, which then opened a huge can of worms, and her mom started attacking us all again over texts. i then texted my cousin and just asked her if she had said anything. she wrote back and asked me to not put her in the middle of it. and she was kind of sassy in the text, which hurt. but i understood, i knew it was mostly my fault anyway, and i shouldn't get her involved so i wrote back, and told her i understood. and i thought she was mad at me, but then she continued to talk to me normally like nothing had happened so i thought everything was fine. but soon after that, she completely stopped talking to me, and pretty much pretended like i did not exist. well i let it go, i stopped talking to her, not because i was mad but i was convinced she hated me, and didn't want to irritate her. but now, she is going through a really hard time, her life is in a complete downward spiral, i wish i could talk to her, but i'm pretty sure (not completely positive) that she hates me. i know for sure that our relationship can never be the same as it was. but mostly i want to help her, and talk to her. or at least know, once and for all, if she really does hate me. (her mother has a talent of brain washing people, so i wouldn't be surprised if that's what happened, in fact, i'm pretty sure it is) what should i do? should i try writing her? should i let it go? this whole situation has been heartbreaking and i just do not know how to deal with it.
Best Answer

Best Answers: Anyone willing to read my long story, and give me some advice?

Heron Heron | 5 days ago
heey hunn, well that does sound like a pretty heartbreaking situation especially since you guys are family and used to be sooo close! honestly my advice to you would be to try and talk to your cousin, just straight up ask her if she's mad at you or if she hates you. I mean think of it this way, what if she doesn't hate you..maybe she's thinking the same thing you are, maybe she thinks you hate her cause your not talking to her. So don't let it go on, just talk to her. Especially if her life is going badly right now, she probably really would like someone to talk to since her mother doesn't sound exactly like the "understanding" kind of person lol. I hope your relationship with your cousin will get better, good luck!!
👍 238 | 👎 5
Did you like the answer? Anyone willing to read my long story, and give me some advice? Share with your friends

We found more questions related to the topic: How to write a heartbreaking story


Heron Originally Answered: Can you read my short story and give me any tips or advice?
I actually liked the story a lot. The only part I would change is the description of the girl, a lot of young writers take too much time describing their protagonist. Maybe take out the part about her liking her eyes.
Heron Originally Answered: Can you read my short story and give me any tips or advice?
i really think this is good. i can see you worked really hard on this but you need to whach what your doing. there are other people on there that would totally love to write something like this and would take it from you so whach out. i have had it happen once to me before and its a good thing i was just starting out otherwise i would have been crushed and heart broke knowing my hard work was taken from me. : ]
Heron Originally Answered: Can you read my short story and give me any tips or advice?
Beautifully written. I enjoyed the representative approach you chose to use. I'd say, a little work on the last piece would do you well.

Ellger Ellger
Write to her. Tell her what you think about your relationships. Offer her help if she still wants to be friends. She needs someone to help her out. May be she will be friends with you as before. But don't mess up your relationship this time.
👍 100 | 👎 -1

Ellger Originally Answered: Can you read this and give me some advice?
Interesting prompt. Glad you took it and went somewhere with it. Whenever I see interesting prompts, I tend to mull them over before passing on from them without bringing my ideas to the page. So I commend you for taking the chance. The writing isn't THAT bad, to be honest. It's ordinary. Nothing really pulled at me, and I saw everything coming. With that being said, I would suggest more detail and a heightened sense of emotion. Try to truly convey how the main character is feeling in an unusual way. Twist the story and really make it your own. And try to end with an unconventional ending.. Your grammar needs work, even though it didn't make me cringe (that bad). ... But.... That's always a skill that come with time and practice. Edit and have it revised and edited.. look up the mistakes you made and make a mental note for the future. It's simple (but important) for your growth as a writer.
Ellger Originally Answered: Can you read this and give me some advice?
This is a good read, if this were to be an entire novel I would read it! Though, I do think that the whole cutting off her toes was a bit much. I rate it a 10 though, because Cinderella is my favorite Disney Classic. Very intriguing.

If you have your own answer to the question how to write a heartbreaking story, then you can write your own version, using the form below for an extended answer.