Do you think he was using me?

Do you think he was using me? Topic: How to write a last goodbye letter
July 18, 2019 / By Ora
Question: so i went on this cruise, and met this guy. he was really nice and we hung out a lot, but i never really had an interest in him, until the 4th night. that night we just hung out me and him the entire night laying down and talking. he was really sweet, and i knew that i'd prob start liking him. we were talking about everything, and the topic of me being a virgin came up. i told him i was a virgin, and he didn't believe me. he wasn't a virgin, but he told me i should really wait for someone i like, and then he said "and it's not going to be me." by the end of the night we ended up making out, and he slept over my room, and he even asked me if the next night we were gonna hang out. the next night he was in the casino, so my friend went to go get him from the casino to hang out. sure enough, he wanted to and came within 10 minutes(meanwhile he had been winning a lot of money), and he came to hang out. we went to his room, and we were hooking up and everything led to sex happening naturally, he didn't ask me flat out, and it happened the way i wanted it to, in the moment. when he was putting the condom on however, i asked him what he was doing, and he said "nothing"..i made sure he had a condom on, and he was really gentle, but he didn't talk much. at one point i asked him if he still had the condom on, and he let me feel to make sure it was still on. after we had sex, we went to the casino, and then i left to go to my room to lay down. he said he'd come back to hang out, but i didn't expect him to really. sure enough, he came knocking on my door to spend the night. the next night he had been looking for me, and he thought i was with another guy,so he got upset, and didn't hang out with me for two nights. by the 8th night we met up eventually..and i explained to him that i wasn't with another guy, and we ended up hanging out the whole entire night, me, my friend, and him. he kept saying how i was his girlfriend on the cruise, and that i would be his girlfriend if we lived in the same place. it just so happened i was going to college where he lived in about a year, and he knew that. that night we were hooking up again, and everything led to sex, and this time was even better. he said to me "you said you were a virgin right"..so i said "you remember what happened the other night right?"..and he was like "yeah, we had sex"..so i guess he was asking to be reassured that i was a virgin before him? then we were doing it for a long time, and he was talking a lot more, and physically helping me out, and he constantly asked me if i was alright, and that i need to tell him when to stop or when it hurts. i was in a lot of pain, so he suggested taking the condom off to see if it felt any better, it felt a lot better and it was only for 2 seconds, but he did say to me "the only thing is..if we take the condom off you might have to give me head"..well..i didn't end up giving him head, because i didn't want to. that night he slept over again, and we had plans to hang out the whole entire day the next day. the last night, we hung out the whole night..and then he kissed me on the lips goodbye. we exchanged myspaces and aim screen names, and after the cruise he commented me right away. we had talked back and forth for awhile..and at one point i thought he was avoiding me..so i wrote him a letter saying if you don't write back then i know you don't want anything to do with me, but he did write back, so that showed me that he cared. i ended up surprising him and visiting him one day, and he was really happy to see me. he told me i need to call next time so we can hang out..and he wanted to make sure i was definitely still coming to college near him. we talked for awhile, and then i had to leave..so he kissed me on the lips goodbye, and wrote to me about a week later asking me how my trip was, and telling me to call him next time. 1.does it sound like he liked me a lot? 2.why would he ask me if i was a virgin when he knew i was already? 3.why did i need to give head if he didn't have a condom on? 4.do you think he was using me the first time? and then the second time he realized that he liked me a lot. but then why did he come back after the first time to lay with me?
Best Answer

Best Answers: Do you think he was using me?

Lee Lee | 9 days ago
ummmm, in the beggining it sure looked like it, but in the end not so much. he seems like a nice person, but like i always say, if you are having any doughts try and talk to him about it, but not directly...
👍 266 | 👎 9
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Jada Jada
Catalina, For my being able to answer questions to my best, this one is taking SOME thinking! I take the situation as some mixed feelings, here with him! I know 1 thing for sure, he would have just avoided you and you wouldn't have kept hearing from him, altogether! For showing jealousy emotions so quick over the possibility that you were "with" another guy, the one evening you mentioned, shows he is INTO you, and probably already attracted to you, then you "bonded". Your No. 2 question, well, from what I've heard, men don't easily believe there are any Virgins these days! Far and few! maybe in his mind he wasn't sure how to "treat" you, since you said he was gentle and careful! 3. He probably likes "getting "that"----- ALL men DO! 4. Doesn't sound to me you were used. I'm feeling that he didn't know how to "approach" the situation.......to still be a Virgin is like GOLD to men! Also, this guy liked you right away, then you got "close" and he still came back! He Cares for you!!!!!!! I might not always be right, but, reading your situation, I have a feeling this all points to good signs! Good Luck and take things slowly!
👍 110 | 👎 3

Finbarr Finbarr
your story is sooo cute!!! ok here are my answers. 1. it sounds like he does like you a lot but dont go head over heels for him yet. 2. guys just like to make sure that girls are telling the truth , maybe he thought you were using him 3. ok he most likely wanted you to give him head b/c when you take a condom off ( condoms have lubrication on them) your vagina gets "dry" which makes it very difficult for them to have sex . so if you give him head your saliva would would lubricate his penis and let you have sex better. 4. No i dont think he was using you, both of you were in the moment and it was wonderful for both of you.. Good Luck with him!! he sounds really nice but remember dont trust him fully yet. When he said make sure you call him before you come next time it might mean that he has a g/f at home and he doesnt want to get caught.....just be careful!
👍 102 | 👎 -3

Daren Daren
1. yes, it definitely does sound like he does. and i really don't think he was using you - if he was he wouldn't have come back or acted like that. i think he really did mean it. and even after the cruise, he talks to you all the time - he's not pushing you away, so definitely not using you. 2. he probably just wanted to make sure - maybe he thought you were using him and lying about being a virgin? guys get insecure too, you know. (-; 3. i really don't know - maybe taking it off kills the moment, and giving him head will "get him ready" again to have sex... i think you should ask him if it really bothers you 4. as far as i can tell, he wasn't using you, so don't worry. good luck, he sounds like a nice boy!!
👍 94 | 👎 -9

Azaziah Azaziah
1.does it sound like he liked me a lot? Yes honey! Tell him you like him to and start dating ASAP! 2.why would he ask me if i was a virgin when he knew i was already? He might just want to make sure that he was your first to raise his EGO! 3.why did i need to give head if he didn't have a condom on? Because he's stupid. Men like oral. People have the mentality that you cant get STDs if you get oral without a condom. 4.do you think he was using me the first time? and then the second time he realized that he liked me a lot. but then why did he come back after the first time to lay with me? Because he likes you a lot.
👍 86 | 👎 -15

Whitney Whitney
You've been played. The key was when he didn't sleep attempt to sleep with you the first night. That's an old male trick that men use on inexperienced women. Leave them wanting more, so the next day they are on fire. Of course, since he knows that he was your first, he can use that desire you have to control what you do. He'll take the "booty call" on his terms only, that's why he told you to call first. My advice if I was you is to MOVE ON. DStarr
👍 78 | 👎 -21

Sharla Sharla
1. Kind of, kind of not... I feel like he was kind of using you though, by always coming around to hang out... 2. He wanted to be your first. 3. Ask him, not us. 4. It could go both ways... I think he is genuine, yet at the same time a player.
👍 70 | 👎 -27

Ornat Ornat
to answer in order... # 1 well you know that he did not 'hate' you # 2 prob could not think of anything else to say # 3 i never heard of that ... head is good with or without # 4 simple... he wanted to see if he could get more sorry about being so blunt
👍 62 | 👎 -33

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