Topic: How to write and speak professional english
July 19, 2019 / By Airlia Question:
Well, first let me say, I NEVER imagined feeling like this. I've been working all my life, finding satisfaction in my work, feeling a sense of pride in that Im financially secure by my own accord, etc. Long story short, when the economy tanked, I accepted a buy out from my employer and officially became a stay at home mom.
This has presented both pros and cons. They are obvious, pro is time with child and alleviates the "double duty" working moms experience bc they are homemakers, moms, maids, chauffeur, AND employees. Cons - mostly financial, but its also nice to get out interact with other professionals, maintaining a sense of who you used to be, before your life centered around chicken nuggets and SpongeBob.
I have been offered an interview for an opportunity that would provide a decent salary as well as work I would enjoy. I should be happy....but, strangely, Im not.
I would love to help reduce the financial burden that is placed exclusively on my husband right now. But, that is the ONLY pro I currently feel. Over the past 2-3 years, Ive settled into the routine I have now. I cant even believe Im saying this/feeling this. A million thoughts are running through my mind - none of them good. Such as: significantly reduced time with my daughter (my mom-in-law will become her primary caretaker, and while her safety is not at all in question, I have my concerns. My husbands family has maintained a culture, within their nationality, which goes against most of my values/beliefs; Its a non-issue now, but that would quickly change. They also do not speak, and cannot read/write in English. No doubt this would adversely affect her cerebral development, that is currently above average due to my ability to spend time with her/teach her. They stubbornly ignore my requests, and let her go wild in their care. No consequences, no manners, junk food on demand, and will do ANYTHING to keep her from crying. Shes no fool. When shes there, and when she first comes home, shes a saucy little terrorist! Lastly, (details r not important, but...) NO, were not going to put her in daycare, and no, three's no one else who can do it).
My other concerns: Will I be able to get back into the swing of things? Ive been out of work so long, Im afraid Ive lost a bit of my knowledge, skills and abilities. I cant even imagine doing this with a toddler in tow. Getting up early, getting ready (both of us), dropping her off, etc - is going to take so much time and effort. Ill have to get started at like 2am to get to my office by 8 (that's how I feel)! What happens when shes sick? They are going to become less and less understanding every time my "mommy responsibilities" affect my work product. That said, Im still going to put her first, every time. Im not at all used to being "that employee", who disappoints and sometimes misses the mark all together. Coming in early and staying late is going to be rare, if ever. I want a clean home, home-cooked meals, etc. for my family. I cant see pulling it all off - something WILL get slighted...but what? The job, kid, husband, home...or work. Im often overwhelmed NOW, constantly feeling "behind" on something; always busy. For all the moms who are currently doing this - I highly respect you. Sleep....put her in her room at 8 and let her cry til she sleeps? Yeah right, not me. Stay up all night, get whatever rest I can....repeat EVERY SINGLE DAY. We currently stay up fairly late, and sleep in. Its going to take time to break this cycle. Lets talk clothes - I don't have any. My wardrobe consists of jeans, sweaters/tees, and a lil black dress for special events. I cant show up in sweats, and I cant afford an entire professional wardrobe at this second. Our budget would allow like one new suit a week. Buy one now, wear it every day until my first paycheck...great idea huh! What about the interview even. All those buzzwords employers love to hear (strategic, process improvement, etc.) are no longer on the tip of my tongue. I could see drawing a complete blank. This has me nervous, which will only make it worse. I left at the top of my game. I don't feel Ill ever be that way again. My priorities have changed so much these past few years.
This is too long - to wrap up...Im "scared" (basically). Im surprised to feel this way, but I do. I do not WANT to, or feel I CAN, transition to successful working mother. No doubt Ive enjoyed being a stay at home mom. Whats not to love? Today, we went to the cider mill/petting zoo/hayride, came home and made apple pie - LOVE IT!
We could use a 2nd income, for sure. I cannot turn this opportunity down if its offered to me. All I can do is accept it and make it work. But how....??
Anyone? Im very grateful for shared stories, advice, opinions and tips.
Thank you Everyone!!!
Tracey | 7 days ago
I can remember when you were loathe to let your daughter spend the weekend with your loony in-laws. Let them take care of her full-time? NO WAY!
I do not have children, however I would like one. I am 28 and financially cannot support a kid right now as I am unemployed and live my mother.
My opinion, even if I were married, I would want to keep my financial independence. I am the "what if" type person, thinking "what if husband gets sick" or "what if husband unexpectedly passes away", etc.
If I were you, I would return back to work and place my kid in a day care. In doing so, I would hope that my kid develop a well-rounded character. I would also allow him to spend time with both sides of the family, my family and husband's family.
It's difficult to relate to someone when you haven't been in her situation; www.circleofmoms.com is a website where mothers can connect with other mothers going through similar situations. You just have to find a specific group to join, such as "working moms" or "stay at home mothers".
I think you should (at this time) return to a job that gives you a sense of pride and self worth. Your family situation is making you feel as if you have to do it all, AND have to like it!
You don't need to do anything that's going to give you an ulcer. You should think about your mental health.........if you aren't pleased, or at least appreciated, what will you be doing this for?
You are a good person. Just do the best job you can.