Originally Answered: I want to die but I am not suicidal?
First things first, you are very vulnerable at the moment, DO NOT DISCUSS THESE ISSUES VIA PERSONAL E-MAIL OR SKYPE PHONE, ETC. there are no safeguards there, and you are very open to exploitation.
You are depressed without a doubt. It is the most common illness bar none, and by far the most common in adolescence. However, what you describe is a little more serious than most experience. You know that your family loves you, but you don't love yourself. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Probably why I decided to become a mental health nurse and decided that I needed to sort myself out first. I was not alone, but that is how I felt. I actually believed with all my heart that the world would be a better place without me in it. I didn't have help until I was in my mid-twenties, yet here I am, very thankful that I didn't kill myself and making a very positive contribution to society. There is help for you now. Go and see your doctor and your school counsellor. From what you are saying, things are more serious than can be sorted by talking alone, or medication alone, you are likely to need both. Without this help, you will go through hell, I did, as did many people I work with in my line of work who didn't get help either. You really don't need to go through this purgatory. Being depressed is not a lifestyle choice, it is not something you can just snap out of, it is not something you are responsible for being. You are responsible for seeking help and taking what is on offer. There are lots of people who feel this is a sign of weakness, it is not. I still get depressive episodes and I take medication to control it, so I now only get glum and irritable for a month or two a year, and I genuinely enjoy life. Depression is horrid, but very, very treatable. You don't feel this is possible at the moment, but trust me as a mental health nurse and as a fellow depression sufferer, get help, you are not fake. You are not a "people person" because at the moment, you don't like your own company so you aren't likely to feel like "inflicting yourself on others". This is actually a serious misinterpretation due to your depression and once this starts to lift, you will become naturally more out-going and you will start to like and even love yourself (not in a narcissistic manner).
Don't run away, as you have identified, you are trying to run away from yourself. You are not the person you used to be, nor are you the person you will become.
I know that you are searching, you have a sense of emptiness where there should be something which defines you as a person. Sorry, but this is normal, it is part of being a teenager, in your case, you are hyper-aware of it, probably because of your depression leading to ruminative thinking.
I am also guessing from the nature of what you have written, that there is something else you aren't saying, something that makes you feel different and accentuates your feelings of being different and need to put up a front and be fake. This is not selfish, it is a defence mechanism, neither are you fake. You cannot do this on your own, you need professional help and now, you do deserve it. Whatever it is that you have not said, I strongly advise that you choose professional help to discuss this rather than online.
I wish you all the best