How am I supposed to react or feel?

How am I supposed to react or feel? Topic: What is going on with the sister wives
July 19, 2019 / By Asenath
Question: On Nov 13th, 2008. My wife of 11 years left. She took our two kids ( 5 & 8 ), to her dad's house and dropped them off. She told the kids that she would call them later to let them know where she was. I found out where they were and picked them up. I honestly had no idea that anything was wrong in our relationship. A few days went by, with no contact from her. I found out that she was sleeping with an old high school flame. On Nov 20th, she had gotten word that I knew who the guy was. She told the local police that I had made a verbal threat against her. On Nov 22nd, I went to the police station to talk to the sergeant, who is a friend of mine, about my wife's boyfriend, who is currently on parole with 29 years hanging over his head. In fact, he has been in and out of prison since 1995. He then informed me that there was a warrant for my arrest. I had my two kids with me, when I was placed under arrest. My sister in law came and got the kids, and i spent the weekend in jail. When I was released, I picked up my kids. On Nov 28th, my wife called me and wanted me to pick her up and asked if I would take her to the local mall. So I did ( like an idiot ). We ended up at a local hotel for about three hours. Over the next couple of days, she would tell me that she loved me. I really thought that my nightmare was over. Then it really went south. To make a long story short, she still has not seen her kids. I've tried to set up times for her to see them, but she always has an excuse of why she can't see them. She did not see or get them anything for Christmas. But she does tell me that she wants to be my friend. The other night, she called and wanted me to come over. I didn't go, but the very next morning she wouldn't even talk to me on the phone. When I was released from jail, she had a restraining order put on me, with no contact from either one of us. Since then, we have been together a total of 4 different occasions. And she would call me every morning, until 3 days ago. Can anyone please give me advice on what to do or what the heck is going on?
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Best Answers: How am I supposed to react or feel?

Zelophehad Zelophehad | 8 days ago
OUCH!!!! First of all let me say that I am sorry that your kids have to go this whole ordeal. I don't know everything, but from what you are saying it sounds like your wife is having some serious issues. Have you ever considered that she might be on drugs or may be going through some sort of mid life crisis? Either way she has no right to put her children through so much inconsistency. How you and your wife deal with each other is one thing, but I think your core responsibility is to your kids. I would assume that by you being on this roller coaster ride with your wife it is also affecting your kids (directly and indirectly). You didn't exactly say why there was a warrant for your arrest. But one of you has to be the more stable parent. Your kids has to have one "rock" out of their two parents. You may want to lay down the law to your wife. Let her know that you are not willing to put up with the lack of respect toward you and the kids. Stick to it. It may not be easy. But if she knows that you are serious than maybe it will slow down her erratic behavior. As hard as it may sound, it is not your responsibility to figure out what is wrong with your wife. If you want to help her than enlist family to help. Maybe they can reach her in a way that you can't. You should not play her games. If you all had a pretty good marriage prior to all of this, then this could be something she just has to go through. If you are willing to take her back after all is said and done than great. Until she is finished or willing to acknowledge the problem than I would deal with her in a safe distance. Especially if helping her in close range is going to keep landing you in jail in violation of a restraining order. One more thing, if this is all stemming from some issues from your marriage than maybe you two could go to couples and individual counseling. Take a look at yourself and the marriage. Did you play a role in her straying? I am not accusing. I am just trying to explore various possibilities. Anyway, good luck and keep the kids first and out of all of this drama.
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