Topic: Creating a business plan for massage
April 22, 2019 / By Babette Question:
Me and my ex broke up because I got upset with my ex for him always creating problems with plans and sent him a text saying I was mad at him, but I didn’t say why. His stepdad then got a hold of it and called my phone leaving me a rude message and said “you can’t crowd this relationship either and be a dominatrix.” I became very upset after this and someone told me that him calling me a dominatrix could be considered sexual harassment I was upset and wanted an apology for his stepdad interfering so I left an email saying that it was sexual harassment because I was thinking irrationally. Later I apologized. I would appreciate it if someone could read all the emails I have sent his parents and tell me what more I can do to show his parents I’m worthy of their son. If you were in this position what would you want me to do to show you I was worthy of your son? Also in one of these emails it says that their son said he was getting depressed because of me. I know my ex extremely well and I am 99% sure he made that up and was using it as an excuse for the real reason we were breaking up… his parents. I also called his mom and apologized to her on the phone
Dear Mr. Kline,
I would greatly appreciate it if you and Mrs. Kline would refrain from calling my phone or keeping in contact with me ever again. I do not appreciate the comments that you left me on Friday. By definition, a dominatrix is a woman who plays the dominant role in a sado-masochistic sexual relationship or encounter; or a woman who dominates. The primary definition is the one reffering to a sado-masochistic sexual relationship. Considering that this word has a double meaning, what you said may be considered a form of sexual harrassment to some. I am sure that you are aware that sexual harrassment is a violation of the law and I no longer would like to be involved with you or Mrs. Kline for fear that this will continue. I am in no way a masochist and I can assure you that I do not enjoy cutting or hurting myself or others for sexual gratification or pleasure. I have in no way put Trevor in any harm. This comment should never have been made as it has many implications due to its double meaning. Masochists are people who typically have mental problems and considering the definition of dominatrix, it could also be implied that you feel I should me in a mental institution or need serious help. Please do not consider this email offensive in any way. I am simply stating the facts and expressing my feelings. I am greatly sorry that your family views me in such a negative light, I can assure you that I, in no way, try to harm Trevor and if I have done so, I don't believe Trevor would have stayed in this relationship with me for so long. Thank you for the time you have put into reading this email. I hope you understand.
Second email (apology):
Dear Mr. Kline,
I believe you have taken offense to some of the remarks made in the previous email. I did not have any intentions of offending you. I just wanted you to realize that what you said was hurtful and I personally felt this statement was uncalled for. When you look up a dominatrix, the images shown are not pleasant images. In fact, when I tried to look up dominatrix on yahoo.com under images I was unable to because it said it contained adult-oriented content. In our society today, a dominatrix is considered to look somewhat slutty. As you can see, any girl my age would take offense to this comment. I also felt like my privacy was invaded. It shocked me to hear this statement because you were unaware of why I was upset with Trevor. My reasons were that he had jeopardized other plans that I had without even thinking that I might have something else planned and that this was not the first time he had done this. Mr. Kline, I know that you have daughters and if some grown adult man of your age were to call them and use such a term for them, I believe you would be deeply hurt by this comment. For this reason, I have avoided having my parents listen to the message. This message was uncalled for, in my opinion. Please understand that there is no right or wrong because it is all relative to each person. Just please put yourself in my shoes or think about it as if someone were to call your daughters a dominatrix. Mr. Kline, you have a wonderful family, but I just do not want to have to walk into a home where I know people think such awful things about me. It is very uneasy for me and it is an akward position for me to be in. Every month or so, I hear about how Mrs. Kline has said something negative about me. It is very hurtful to know that, especially when I feel I do not deserve it because I have never said anything against her up until this point. My reasons for why I have now is because I finally couldn't stand hearing negative things about me. In the previous email made the remarks I did because I wanted you to realize just how hurtful it was. Mr. Kline, I am very sorry that you and your family took offense to the previous email, but when you called me you had no justification for what you did or said because you were unaware of the current situation between me and Trevor. I in no way was trying to control Trevor. Mr. Kline, I had plans that I had for friday and I switched those plans to saturday so that I could be with Trevor. Since Trevor cancelled plans on me without an explanation and without asking if the next night was ok, said we would do it on Saturday I was upset. Trevor forgot to even consider that I might have plans. This has happened before and eventually I had to say something so at that point I did. I was not trying to control Trevor or dominate him in any way. When you called me, I was shocked. I felt confused. I did not understand why you needed to interfere when this was my relationship with Trevor. I do not think you would appreciate it if you knew that every month or so my parents had something negative to say about Trevor or called him and said similiar things to him. Mr. Kline, I felt like you were disciplining me and I felt that you had crossed a boundary. One boundary was my relationship was Trevor. Another was the boundary of a parent. As your job as Trevor's parent, you are to discipline him and it is my parent's job to discipline me, but I did not feel it was right for you to step in and say what you did or even tell me how to run my relationship with Trevor when I do not interfere with your relationship with Mrs. Kline. If we could all learn to accept each other, these problems would not happen. Maybe this email will help explain things better. Mr. Kline when I say you have a wonderful family, I mean it. Especially because Trevor is a part of that family and I know why he is the way he is. I would never try to hurt any of you and I just wish that your family would do the same for me. Thank you for your time once again. Once again I do apologize for the previous email. I did not mean to upset you or your family.
Dear Mr. Kline,
I am greatly sorry once again. I am afraid your family may not have understood how sorry I am so I am sending another email. If you would like I would be willing to personally come over to your house and apologize to you and Mrs. Kline for what was said. You have a wonderful stepson and I do not want to lose him. What we have all said and done is the past and if we don't grow and learn from our mistakes then we will never become better people. If anyone is to blame for this whole event I will take full responsibility. I have hurt not only one person, but three and I guess maybe myself because I feel that you will no longer let Trevor date me because of what I have done. I should be ashamed of what was said and you had every right to call me what you did. From now on, I will try to take all of the suggestions you and Mrs. Kline give me because I know you are looking out for our best interests. That is if Trevor will still date me. Thank you for your time once again.
Dear Mr. Kline,
I am now aware why you left me the message you did. I have gotten advice from someone much older and wiser on this situation. I have tried to make things right with Trevor, but apparently things are not right because of my immature behavior (he did not call me immature, I am calling myself immature). What happened and what was said was done out of anger. This is a natural human instinct. When this happens we do not think properly or rationally. This may explain why you think I may be unstable, but I am not. We all do things without thinking when we get angry at one time or another. Additionally, in the past months I was not aware that I had hurt Trevor so much nor did I know Trevor would come home and take it out on you and your family. For me, it is very difficult to let things get to my head. I did not realize that Trevor would take everything I said seriously and let it get to his head. Trevor never showed me that he felt so hurt by some of the things that I may have joked about. The last thing I would have ever wanted to do was to hurt Trevor (I'm afraid that has already happened). I know that you are against Trevor dating me again, but how I have hurt him and your family was unintentional. I now realize though that you were right in saying what you did. I believe I may have acted so offensively to it because I did not realize at that time why you had said what you did. I would really like to make things okay with me and your family again. I believe that this was all due to a big misunderstanding on my part. I do truly care for Trevor and I never meant to hurt him like I have nor have I ever meant to hurt his loved ones. I realize that what may have occurred is that my personality has clashed with Trevor’s. Mr. Kline, it is very true that I am a dominant person. I am strong-willed. I know what I want in life and I go for it which is why I am not giving up on you and your family. Trevor, however, is very easy-going. I did not realize that this personality trait of mine was getting in the way of our relationship. No one had brought it up until you finally stepped up and said something. I feel though that because of my nature I can control myself around your family and Trevor. I want to be a part of Trevor’s life. He makes me happy. If my nature is too dominating I can find a way to make it stop because I want Trevor in my life. I am strong-willed and that is why I am trying so hard to make this work and gain your and Mrs. Kline’s acceptance again. My strong-willed nature is what will stop me from being so dominating. I realize how important Trevor’s school work is to you. I know I call him on week nights, but if he were to date me again, I would not do this. In fact, knowing how much he worries I would help him as much as I could since we have a lot of the same classes. I did not realize that I was distracting Trevor from his school work every other night because he was becoming depressed because of me. I feel horrible about this. If I only understood exactly why Trevor was becoming depressed because of me each night I would try my best to change it. Having gotten the advice from this much older and wiser person, I now realize how important it is that you and Mrs. Kline be apart of Trevor’s relationships. I may not have been aware of it first, but he helped me to see how important you and Mrs. Kline are to Trevor and how important it is that you do be involved in his relationships. For the past year, I felt that this was not the way things should be just because my parents did not get involved, but now I realize how important it is after talking to my older friend. This person knows Trevor too and is in fact, a teacher at our school. He would not take sides and I know this because he did not say anything against Trevor or me. I now understand things more because of him. I think that what happened was somewhere along the way me and Trevor lost communication and all you were trying to do was help us to communicate. Mr. Kline I am once again very sorry. I will do whatever it takes to get yours and Mrs. Kline’s acceptance. Please do realize that I had never known about these problems that had occurred and I greatly appreciate what you did because I now have a better idea of what was going wrong in our relationship. I greatly appreciate all the time you have put into reading my e-mails. I know they are long, but I want you to understand that I will put in as much effort as I can to make things better. I feel this is the best way for me to get into contact with you.
Acacia | 7 days ago
What you need to do is take your pride back. I have no idea what happened between you and your bf. But his step dad had NO business making sexual references to a teenager. You should not be apologizing to him. I hope his wife read your massage and convinced him that it should never, never happen again. But I doubt it. A man with any respect for women would not call a young girl names.
Be that as it may, your bf is old enough to be in control of his own life. He's obviously using his parents as a shield. He is the one who should be apologizing for not having the courage to stand up and tell you how he feels. Move on. He does not deserve you.
I am fairly sure you haven't told your own parents about this. I wish you would, especially about the step father's message to you, but also about your apologies. .
Originally Answered: How you keep things in perspective?
Firs things: mediation and management. You need to relax.
Yes, you're stressing over the entire world when you don't have control over it, and yes, you're not living your life to the fullest by always being out of the moment than in the moment.
It's good that you are aware of these issues in life but, firstly, why do these problems impact you? Secondly, how much control do you have over these problems? Thirdly, what little things can you do to contribute in trying to solve this problem?
You're too far to do anything directly and too small to overpower such huge problems, true that, but! You're neither when it comes to doing something about it!
You have to be the change you want to see in the world - Gandhi.
I was like you, signed petitions, wrote letters and worried until I passed out. What did it do, absolutely zilch. I finally joined a social media network, began raising awareness of it, got contacted by someone way ahead of me, realised I had attracted a decent amount of people that this person wanted me to help her raise the issue she was feeling strong about. Then I went to further studies, found out that the college does small booklets where students write about their interests, share stories etc. including raising awareness of campaigns and issues in our community/the world that they felt strong about. I wrote my small articles, added pics and links, it got published, others who were more actively involved in helping contacted me from that and it snowballed into me going to campaigns, interviewing people in my community, creating bigger groups, raising awareness, launching events for fundraising, and visiting places etc. to help out. I made friends in a whole new circle, we also went out in a group and had fun when we were done working, and also took time off for ourselves to manage our lives, families etc. Because of that I did a degree in media and communications, now I know what I am doing to help out on issues that concern me.
When I have time I educate myself, I am constantly researching and learning, it allows me to be active in the issues I feel strongly about. Being with people who showed me how to do something about it mostly educated me in doing something about it. I'm not perfect, I don't have a huge impact alone, but so many people like me together, it makes an impact. Things are not going change so greatly, we don't know what the world holds honestly, but worrying about it does absolutely nothing when doing something about it at least educates you and gives you life lessons.
Mirco-management is when someone manages a team closely, and macro-management is when someone manages a team from a afar. In the former, team knows what to do, everything is connected and on the latter, there's lack of guidance, team takes initiative to reach company's goals. Why I am telling you this? Well, you're close enough to manage your life and have fun with your friends, and you're far away to have any control over the issues you're concerned about. So here's what you do, you make time for micro-managing your life for one half, and then macro-managing your issues on the other. When it's time to enjoy and manage your life, do it, don't focus on anything else, when you get time to worry later on, join or do something however little it is that works towards making a difference in parts of the world you're most concerned about and then when it's time to be active in that, you focus on that. When you're awake, you're awake, when you're asleep, you're asleep. Simple.
You are better off without him. His parents are not going to change and he will always be hanging onto his mom's apron strings. He is a mama's boy. No girl/woman will ever be good enough for him in her eyes. Save yourself a lot of stress and heartache and make a clean break with him, and make it VERY clear that if he ever wants to be happy in a relationship that he needs to stand up to his mom and live a more independent life.
tell them how you feel about this man and how much you love him.why your mom and dad will not lit you go out with him is because that they know what will happen to you.you will have a baby and he breaks up with you and he will break your heart one day.
you must just leave it behind. If this bf of yours does not have the bravery to stand up for you to his parents he's not worth it.