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Story summary - what do you think?

Story summary - what do you think? Topic: The sisters brothers summary
April 22, 2019 / By Bette
Question: This is a summary that I came up with for a story I've been working on. I was hoping to get some feedback on it: Blake Cooper is perfectionist in every sense of the word. Ever since her parents’ marriage broke up, her life has revolved around making her former artist turned work-a-holic mother happy, kicking *** in school, and setting a good example for her younger brother and sister. The constant need for perfection has been driving her for the past five years. Rebellious Leigh--Blake’s best friend since she moved to town in the seventh grade--will do anything to get Blake to loosen up bit. Nothing ever seems to work, but she figures that using Blake’s love of music as an unfair advantage couldn’t hurt. When she invites Blake to a concert that a local band is holding in one of the smallest venues imaginable up in the city, Blake miraculously agrees to go. Insert Alden: the tall, dark-haired lead singer that Blake got to talking to the minute they got to the venue. Blake likes the fact that he’s so different and witty, and she’s a sucker for that devilish grin of his. When she finds out that he’s a musician, she’s gone off the deep end. For a while, it’s sort of a back and forth thing. They call one week, e-mail the next. It only takes one more encounter for them to realize that they’re perfect for each other. Unfortunately, everything--and everyone--wants to get in the way of that. Social Circle gets huge, fast. With Alden on tour all the time, Blake’s stuck in boring old New Jersey, waiting for him to return. And keeping in touch isn’t easy. Her mother 100% does not approve--she’d much rather Blake had a boyfriend on his way to an Ivy League, not a different city every other night. The worst thing would probably be the fans. Alden’s the one that every girl loves, and Blake has him. Nasty internet comments and rumors start circulating, all of which are complete lies. Even the girls at school who know about Social Circle have taken a strong dislike to her. Blake’s still trying to keep up with her perfectionist ways, which would mean finding some way to get everyone to like her again. Will she realize that when it comes to true love, you don’t always have to be perfect? This is just the rough idea of the story. Tell me what you think. **Social Circle is the working name I'm going with for the band. ha, this is a little long. i'm would've made this shorter, but i figured that some more detail would help people give me advice or suggestions :)
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Best Answers: Story summary - what do you think?

Aiah Aiah | 7 days ago
Honestly? Too long. Imagine if you had to read this on the back of a book. You would probably put it down before you ever finished the third paragraph. What about something like this: Blake Cooper is a perfectionist in every sense of the word. Ever since her parents' marriage ended, her life has revolved around making her former artist-turned-workaholic mother happy, kicking *** in school, and setting a good example for her younger brother and sister. Her desperate need for perfection has run her life for the last five years. Rebellious Leigh--Blake's best friend since she moved to town in the seventh grade--will do anything to get Blake to loosen up a bit. Nothing ever seems to work, but she figures that using Blake’s love of music as an unfair advantage couldn't hurt. When she invites Blake to a concert by a local band, Social Circle in one of the smallest venues imaginable up in the city, she never imagines that Blake will fall for the lead singer, Alden. As their romance heats up, Social Circle gets huge, fast. With Alden on tour all the time, keeping in touch isn't easy. Alden is the one guy that every girl would love to be with, and Blake has him. Girls at Blake's school have begun to turn on her for being with Alden. And Blake's still trying to keep up with her perfectionist ways, which would mean finding some way to get everyone to like her again. Will she realize that when it comes to true love, you don't always have to be perfect? I think the idea for the story sounds really good though. I was actually sitting here trying to imagine how the story would go. Good luck!
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Aiah Originally Answered: Help me with summary and title of my story?
All I can think of regarding at title is After We Fall. Tagline/Summary thingy :D _________________________________ They've been around for years. They are the core of the kingdom. Until the kingdom falls. Now, the twelve daughters of the first Gods must piece back their kingdom. Before it's too late. I'm not sure if you'd like a critique of the writing. If so, please add it in Additional Details. =)
Aiah Originally Answered: Help me with summary and title of my story?
You already wrote a summary of your entire plot in your first chapter. There's basically no reason to continue reading after this. Don't Stop was right about this first chapter. Even if you ARE going to spend pages on each characterization, it's still terrible. I wasn't going to, but since this is such need of editing I'll critique this. Prologues are still supposed to be a kind of development of the story. They're not for you to vomit up a giant character list of how they look and how they are related to one another. In the prologue, you're STILL a story teller. This is one of the worst ways you could start a story - by giving a laundry list of the characters and how they look like and how they're related to one another. This is the extremely cheesy and badly written equivalent of putting up a character sheet in the beginning of a fanfiction. All of the ridiculous description about how the characters look is completely pointless and should be deleted forever from your computer because it's purple prose. You never describe characters in such a boring way, and definitely not in the way that you did. Characterization is an art, even describing how they look. It's not something you just slap onto the first page for the sake of letting readers "know" how they look like. You're setting up the story, not telling us what it's going to be about. That information belongs on the back cover. Hell, if you cut out all the descriptions, everything you wrote here IS what is supposed to go on a back cover. It's not "supposed to just be an early explanation and the names". I've never seen a writer that uses the prologue and goes "WELL. This is just so you know who the hell everyone is, and how they look even though I know you don't give a crap about how they look." That's not the point of the first chapter/prologue. Now that I'm done with that, I'll move on to the stuff that's not useless description (which is most of your prologue). "In the beginning, there were simply two sisters and their brother, Fate and Destiny were the sisters, and Life was the brother." Why didn't you just combined these two sentences together? There's no reason for them to be split apart, because you're just saying the same thing twice. "but from them, they gave birth to a whole new world, whole new systems, and pretty much everything else that exists." Same thing with the redundancy. What does "whole new systems" add that "whole new world" doesn't? Also, take out "pretty much everything else that exists". That's extremely unprofessional writing. I don't care if you're a teen writer, you're not supposed to put out something that insults readers' intelligence like that. "They were the first living beings; the first Gods. From them were spawned the sun and the moon, and the respective god and goddess. Soon, they had created a whole new universe. Soon, there was a need for a king and queen to rule a new chain of islands that would house the first non-godly beings. " You just said that they created the universe. Why do you need to say it again? Readers aren't idiots; they can easily go up a few lines if they wanted to to read it again. Also, stop with the abuse of semicolons. You're very redundant with the things that you say. "They were created at a stage where they could procreate; an adult." What you basically said was "they were created as adults; an adult". What was the point of writing out that huge silly thing if you're going to tack on "adult" at the end? What are you trying to emphasize; that they can procreate, or that they are adults? You're trying SO hard to sound mysterious and writerly. Don't. It's failing, HARD. Title? You can't even come up with your own title?
Aiah Originally Answered: Help me with summary and title of my story?
You need to work on your writing style, just letting you know. You're throwing a lot of information that could take pages, into a small paragraph and it seems rushed and lumped together. Too much information and too many names right after one another with no character development will make it hard for people to remember who's whos kid and who's married to who etc.

Timothy Timothy
I like the names, very original and boyish, blake. It's unique and cool CAn you check out my book summary? pleease? I need comments and truthfull thoughts
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Timothy Originally Answered: I need a good summary for a story? 10 POINTS?
Alright, you got the blurb. Good job. Now it's time to get to work on what is going to become a synopsis. That is your opening paragraph. Just modify the opening sentence to be third person. "Chelsea Astrid is 16 years old, she is abused at home by her drunken father." Then go from there. At anyrate, with that modifaction, you're on the right track. But I'm not writing this for you, because I'm not you - I don't share your brain. But I'll help. At any rate, a short synopsis. Here we go. You've given us some of the main characters, in the same paragraph, introduce any other characters that need to be introduced within your introductory paragraph. Your second paragraph will go to the MEAT ofthe story. First off, write the beginning. The rising action, all the necessary plot point, and quickly move on to the middle. Your third paragraph - the middle, this includes the climax, and any other things your character's must face to further progress the plot. By now your character(s) are ont their way to their goal. Frodo and Sam are half way to Mordor, way out of the shire mind you. But that's just an example. They're nearly there, your main character is reaching her goal - be it for failure, or success. This is the third body paragraph of your synopsis. This is where the **** gets real, this is where the crap hits the fan and creates a tempest of flying mutant poops. (Alright that was too far.) But in seriousness, this is the breath of relief, this is where your characters face their final ultimate challenge. Whether frodo must cast the ring into the pit of mount doom, or whether a murderer is finally found and must be capture to prevent his horrible spree. Finish sub plots, make ends meet, have characters reveal their true intentions by this part of your novel, have secretive character's secrets revealed, just make sure you wrap everything up, and make your end convincing, and real. The fifth paragraph, the last paragraph of your short synopsis - is your conclusion. This is your epilogue, did your characters live happily ever after? Or did frodo become smeagol version 2.0? This is where you wrap up the story, this is the aftermath. And that, is a really basic synopsis. You can modify it to include sub plots if you so wish, but include the main plot only to save time. Include sub plots when the come to mind - they tend to drag down a story if there are too many of them. Best of luck, you can do this. This will not only help you, but you can take excerpts from it to create a little back flip cover for your story. If you catch my meaning.
Timothy Originally Answered: I need a good summary for a story? 10 POINTS?
Um...You could want to Google "Mary Sue". Your summaries all have one thing in usual - they require the adults to behave like idiots with the intention to make your teen heroes appear excellent. Enid Blyton used to get away with it, but I doubt you will.

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