Grade my essay or tell me some suggestions and thoughts?
Topic: Like or dislike essays
July 17, 2019 / By Britannia Question:
FORMAL essay on why christopher boone from 'curious incident of the dog in the night time' is an unforgettable character.
anything i should change, fix, or any suggestions?
Aspergers Syndrome is a disorder that can affect a person's ability to communicate effectively with others. The disorder can also cause a person to have many different behavioral problems. Asperger's Syndrome has no cure but there are many forms of help that can improve the severeness of the effects. The consequences of Asperger's are extremely unusual and cause Christopher to have behavioral problems, communication problems, and achieves to be exceedingly intelligent. Without his troubles and successes due to his sickness, Christopher Boone would be a lot less memorable.
Along with Asperger's Syndrome brings behavioral problems. The way Christopher deals with situations such as interacting with strangers, seeing specific Colors, and how overwhelmed he is when too much is happening is very different from how most human beings would handle them. When talking to someone, Christopher will walk away when he feels the conversation is over or he is done talking, without saying goodbye or any form of final words. Christopher also determines when it will be a quite good day, good day, super good day, or a black day by the colors of cars. A person without the disorder usually determines how their day will go by the first things that happen to them in the morning. He is not very understanding of anything that is indirect. All the behavior problems Christoffer possesses make his character an unforgettable one at the least.
Christopher encounters a few mental and physical breakdowns throughout the book due to his disorder. He becomes so overwhelmed by an environment or situation he is put in that he has passed out or puked. When Christopher planned to run away to his mother's in London, he wanted to talk to Siobhan first. He saw his father at the school which made his plan to visit Siobhan backfire. He was afraid to the point he vomited all over. At the train station, there were many, many people and Christopher began to freak out in his mind and couldn't think clearly whatsoever. Christopher has had a few acts of violents with his father and a police officer. If somebody grabs or touches Christopher his first reaction is to hit them. His mental and physical breakdowns aren't considered normal which is another characteristic he owns that cause him to be a memorable character.
Despite the fact that Christopher has Asperger's Syndrome, he succeeds at school and is very intelligent. Many people dislike reading, school, and mathematics but those are things Christopher exceeds at. Whenever he is having one of his mental breakdowns and he is freaking out he does complicated math problems in his head. He solves problems such as the Monty Hall problem which many mathematicians failed figuring out and attempted proving it was invalid or wrong. He says the math problems calm him down because they make sense. Things that make sense calm him down. Usually people are even more confused when they solve math problems but Christopher is the complete opposite. His high intelligence and him succeeding in school made him unforgettable.
Asperger's Syndrome is a disorder and a difficult struggle that causes a person to have difficulties socially. It has no cure but there are many ways to help the severeness of the disorder. The effects of Asperger's Syndrome causes Christopher to have behavioral problems, mental and physical breakdowns, and a chance to focus more on school and his intelligence. If Christopher did not have Asperger's his character would not have been as unforgettable as he is.
Best Answers: Grade my essay or tell me some suggestions and thoughts?
Alice | 10 days ago
The main problem is with the book itself...the claim Christopher is an Asperger, which he so obviously isn't if you know anything about the condition, was made by the publisher not the author. Christopher is clearly a low-functioning autistic whereas you cannot be diagnosed with Asperger's if you're not 'high-functioning' - approximately half of all those with low-functioning Autism have IQ's ranging from normal all the way up to genius.
Levels of functioning basically mean can an individual survive life in the real world without ongoing care and supervision. Aspergers can, so they're called high-functioning. Those with Classic (Kanner's) Autism cannot, and neither could Christopher, and this makes them low-functioning. Many people believe levels of functioning are directly related to IQ, but this is only partially correct. A high-functioning individual can "only" have an IQ in the normal range or higher whereas a low-functioning individual can have an IQ anywhere on the scale, from profoundly intellectually disabled (severe retardation) anywhere up to genius level. Also Christopher carrying a knife in his pocket so he could stab anyone who grabbed him is not the behaviour of an Asperger and shows his distorted view of reality, his highly literal view of what he's been told and why he needs constant supervision...though I seriously doubt many low-functioning individuals would contemplate this behaviour either - it's a sensationalist piece of writing, one written by an author who publicly acknowledges his lack of expertise in the field of autism.
Christopher was extremely lucky...he survived his journey to find his mother. If Christopher was an Asperger he simply wouldn't have done things like jumping down onto train tracks with a train approaching or waiting for hours in the freezing cold hoping his mother would appear...these are the behaviours of someone who is low-functioning, someone who has tunnel vision and cannot properly understand cause and effect or the consequences of their actions. Christopher survived this time by sheer dumb luck, but next time he may not be so lucky. Low-functioning autistics like Christopher will always be in peril when left to fend for themselves, Aspergers and those with High-Functioning Autism will not!
While I wouldn't expect you to change your whole essay based on this but I'd hope you'd include a paragraph or so based on this criticism. If you research bona fide books and sites from professional clinicians looking for definitions of high/low functioning, it will become clearly apparent 'Christopher cannot be an Asperger'.
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Originally Answered: Please grade this SAt essay on a scale of 1 to 6 and offer suggestions?
Again, some words used not quite correctly It seemed incredibly credulous that ... I'm not sure what you mean to say, but that is the wrong word--incredible maybe just use incredible and drop incredibly. And your last sentence is important-as important as your start up ones. so: " we have no choice but to do so, not only for " the right thing" ( hint--try to avoid using "thing because it dilutes what you are trying to say, a bad thing to do in the last sentence or ,to correct myself, a poor stylistic move in a culminating phrase of your essay. How about using for "justice to prevail" and in your first sentence of the last paragraph, "war is a terrible thing being changed to" war is Hell in the words General Sherman after his march to the sea" or "war is terrible" or "war is a terrible event for both victor and vanquished." Usually when you use the phrase not only then the follow up is but also.
Again, you improve each time . I'd give it a 5.5. You began a bit formally which is fine and then warmed up and ended with some passion. Good To be working on style is to be in the home stretch -
You don't focus on one point in each paragraph, you jump around. Introduce one idea, then explain that idea before going on to another.
You say "behavioral problems" and "unforgettable" a little too much.
You said "human beings" instead of "people". It makes it seem like you view him as alien.
I don't even know who Christopher is. I don't know who Siobhan is. Introduce these people to your audience.
It would be better if "His high intelligence and him succeeding in school made him unforgettable" was rephrased to something like "his success in school makes him unforgettable." "difficulties socially" = "Social difficulties."
You really should introduce these characters(who are they, what book are they from?), give a summary of the book and the situation, THEN describe Asperger's, and then explain that Christopher has Asperger's and go into his troubles and tendencies. This paper is alll over the place.
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Originally Answered: Please grade this Sat essay on a scale of 1 to 6 and offer suggestions for improvement?
I'd give it a 9. You presented the information and backed it up. The reason I would give you a 9 because although you had valid points, I found it to be a little unorganized. My teachers would always say not to write the way you talk, you know?
4th paragraph: "Take for example, the current Iranian government. The Iranian government has conducted its foreign policy under the auspices of a stoic, blunt philosophy."
Don't repeat, instead maybe:
For example, the current Iranian government has conducted its foreign policy under the auspices of a soic, blut philosophy.
5th p: "In addition, I believe that frankness is not always the best option because of an experience I had once."
In addition I believe frankness is not always the best option due to an experience I once had
I hope this helps you in some way. Even if you don't use the examples I gave, please listen to my advice so your essay writing skills can improve (not too much improving left to do) : )
Originally Answered: Please grade this Sat essay on a scale of 1 to 6 and offer suggestions for improvement?
I'd give it a 4. Although you use a lot of "big" vocab words, you still have many awkward and informal phrases:
"why bluntness never does anyone any good" (p1)
"clemency" (p2) --- wrong word, officials and judges give clemency
"frankness is not always the best option because of an experience I had once" (p3)
"diatribe" (p3) --- wrong word, diatribes are usually derisive towards others
"lost heavily" (p3)
"I am of the opinion" (p4)
"loudest in the room is also the weakest" (p4)
Remember that clear writing with strong vocabulary is always better than unclear writing with complex vocabulary. It sounds like sometimes you format the sentences in order to use certain words.
Apart from cleaning up your writing, it needs to be more organized. I understand you introduce, provide 2 examples, and then conclude, but you need to go further in the 2 examples and build upon your thesis.
Finally, your conclusion goes too far, making a statement without proper support. To say "I am of the opinion that wise people say the least," you must provide evidence of these wise people who aren't blunt.