What should I do, who should I be with? I really need help?
Topic: How to write a merry christmas message
July 18, 2019 / By Cass Question:
I just got thrown into a really difficult situation a few days ago. I've been talking to this guy for about five months, we're basically dating. We work together so we can't date or it would be against the rules, but for all story purposes he's my boyfriend. Now, I have truly fallen in love with him. He's kind, caring, he's good to me, and he loves me too. He's the first person I've loved in three years, since I lost the first love of my life, a boy we'll call Tim. Now Tim and I never officially dated either. But I knew I loved him from the get-go. He told me he didn't want to date me because he didn't want a girlfriend and he didn't want to ruin our friendship, but then he started dating another girl like two weeks later, and about a month after that he started "dating" a girl from the internet that he had never met in person before. He broke my heart and it took me more than two years to finally accept the fact that I had lost him and I wasn't going to be with him. This past summer, I saw him for a short like twenty minutes, and every feeling I ever had for him came back. It was tough because I knew that I wasn't going to be with him. It had been two and a half years since I lost him.
However, on Christmas I always send everyone in my phone a "Merry Christmas" text message, including Tim. That night he texted me asking who I was, because he had lost my number when he got a new phone. The following day he proceeded to text me and we were just haveing a normal conversation, and he all of a sudden decided to tell me he still has really strong feelings for me. He told me that he was young and confused back when he broke my heart, he didn't know what he wanted, but he'd grown up and he still had feelings for me and he wanted to take another chance at us. I was ecstatic. He was the first person I ever loved and I still love him to this day, I always will.
BUT, my current boyfriend is absolutely amazing and I don't want to break his heart. He loves me to death and I know he does, and I honestly love him too. My mom isn't happy with my relationship with him though because I work with him and it could possibly put both our jobs in jeapordy, and it's a bi-racial relationship and she doesn't like that either. Her opinion really means a lot to me.
My mom met Tim a few years ago and she really liked him and she knew how happy he made me.
I don't know what to do now that he's asking for another chance. I'm afraid that if I don't give it to him then I'll always wonder what would have been with him. I've wanted to spend my life with him since I met him. I'm afraid I'll ruin my life and the way it should be. At the same time, I'm afraid that if I do try to give him a second chance, I'll not only break my current boyfriend's heart, but I'm afraid Tim will hurt me again and I'll regret trying, and I won't be able to get my current boyfriend back either.
I'm so confused, what would you do?
Best Answers: What should I do, who should I be with? I really need help?
Anita | 9 days ago
Hmmm...Well, a love triangle is never something easy to deal with. People are going to offer you all types of advice on here (including me), but before you read it and take it to heart, its important for you to know something. Listen to all the advice you want, but when you make your decision, dont make it because someone (especially a stranger on yahoo answers) told you to do something. You have to make your own decision, and you are the one that is going to have to deal with whatever happens after that.
Now that I said that, here are my thoughts...
Now I have to partially side with your mom (in regards to the bi-racial relationship), while its going to be your decision, i have my personal reasons for that, which could take me forever to write. But, taking race out of the picture for a moment, from what you wrote about this new guy, he is great! If someone is treating you well, loves you, and you love him, i would say that they are worth keeping.
But, I have been in predicament before. I was dating a girl who was really great. We dated for a few months and things were going great. But then, a friend of mine (co-worker), who I have been in love with forever ending things with her long term boyfriend. She then came on to me, and it was really hard for me to decide what to do. So we were alone this one time, and things happened (yes, i cheated, and its not something im proud of). But I did, and sort of, "got it out of my system". But this girl wantd to keep doing this (sort of a booty call). I knew what i was doing was wrong, and decided that it wasnt worth ruining the great thing I had going with this other girl. No, i didnt tell my gf (who i am still dating) about what happened, but i know that i wont do it again.
For me, it was just a weak moment, it was something i chased after forever, and when i finnally got the chance, i took it. Yes is was wrong, and i felt bad, but i decided that it wasnt worth contining since i found the girl of my dreams.
This is going to be a rough decision. But if it were me, this is what i would do.
If you cant see a future with you and this guy that you are dating now, meaning if you both want marriage but for whatever reason you dont see it happening, then why are you still there? I mean this totally depends on your age. If you were 17 I would say that the future is so far off and doesnt matter, but if your older, is a future with a man something you think about alot?
I wouldnt ruin what I have on the "chance" that there is something better out there. Granted, the old guy might still be such a great guy and you can have something between you, but theres also the chance that he has changed, and you two are not the same people you were back in the day.
I hope this helped. It has to be your own decision though. Good luck
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You must realize that your NOT really dating the guy from work, just playfully flirting with him since neither of you have committed to dating outside the workplace (or made the true commitment to find another job). You have fallen for that guy but neither of you took steps to make an actual relationship work.
Now with your friend Tim, you must realize that he may NOW be ready to have a date with you, but remember the spark was not there for him three years ago so what has changed with him?!? Tim will not hurt you, it will either work out, or as before, there will not be the chemistry there to have a relationship. You must realize that it is a bit odd to hold a torch and love someone when you really were not in a relationship with the guy . . . it's more of a crush than anything else. Get to know Tim and see if the two of you have anything in common since the guy at work is not taking any action to start a relationship with you.
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you have to think very hard in takinq these desisions !
in my opinion you should stay wifd the bf you have now .
you KNOW he loves you !
you KNOW you love him !
that other guy ... you dont know what his intentions are !
the truth is ... in my opinion ' very few ppl "grow up" '
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