Does my writing style attract you?

Does my writing style attract you? Topic: Curses writing a business
June 26, 2019 / By Rubye
Question: Also critize my work. Any improvements are welcome. Sirens blared and people screamed. Plumes of smoke poured out from every window, every door of Widow Creek private school on 5th avenue. Terrified parents struggled to get towards the school, some even tried to run passed the police and into the school to get their kids themselves. Students ran out from the school, ash and debris covering their faces and clothes. There where cries and screams heard throughout the burning building as firefighters broke down doors to reach them. And it’s probably all my fault. Well, at least part my fault.             Apart from this disaster, I was having a pretty good day. The only bad part was the huge zit that materialized on my chin over night. It’s the zits fault my school caught on fire, if it weren’t for that then I wouldn’t have had that terrible fight with a bully at school and everyone would have been safe. Curse puberty.             Anyways, I was having a good day and all until lunch time. I was eating my lunch, minding my own business, laughing with my friends when Jake Lucca, my personal tormentor, came to my table with his little group of friends. Jake Lucca was this jerk I’ve known since 3rd grade. He had dark, blue-black hair and dark blue eyes. He was pretty cute, but I hated him so much that no matter how good he looked, I’d never think him of him that way, let alone feel that way. “What’s that?” Jake pointed to my chin, which was red and swelling up from my zit. I felt my face get hot; I covered my chin with my hand and turned away. “It’s nothing, go away.” Sara Chance, one my friends, said indifferently. I looked at her from across the table. Her lips were pursed and her brows knit together. She had a crush on Jake, but she didn’t like the fact that he made fun of me.             Jake chuckled. “Why don’t you let her answer?” He grabbed my arm and tugged at it, trying to make me let go. I struggled; he’d gotten a lot stronger over the break. Last time he’
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Best Answers: Does my writing style attract you?

Nella Nella | 3 days ago
I loved it, but I would change a few things I, in my opinion wouldn't write that you think your "arch enemy" so to speak is cute or that you should elaborate that you would never think of him in that way because it should be implied since you hate him. If you want to say he's cute just describe his physical appearance in a good way. And if you were to develop feelings for him later in the story then you could go more in depth with your feelings for him and his looks when you would begin to have those feelings for him. Also I would change the 3rd sentence to: "Terrified parents struggled to get towards the school, some trying to run pass the police officers and into the school to get their kids themselves. And I just wanted to add in an extra detail, to add in tight in between knit and together. sorry to have made this so long, hope I could help and great story line. I love how it starts off =]
👍 174 | 👎 3
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We found more questions related to the topic: Curses writing a business

Nella Originally Answered: How does one attract and/or spot a UFO?
UFOs (unidentified flying objects) are only unidentified because the observer lacks the astronomical or meteorological knowledge to identify them. That's why you never hear about UFOs observed by astronomers or meteorologists; they're only reported by people who are unfamiliar with what can be seen in the sky. I've been an amateur astronomer for over fifty years, and have never seen anything in the sky that I haven't been able to identify.
Nella Originally Answered: How does one attract and/or spot a UFO?
On other planets only non-intelligent life may exist. Space aliens do not exist - astronomers researched a very large part of our galaxy with their telescopes
Nella Originally Answered: How does one attract and/or spot a UFO?
First of all, keep your tin-foil hat on. Maybe fasten it with duct tape. Then, you take your towel (you do have your towel, don't you), and wave it around your head in a circular fashion (as in the "Terrible Towel" at football games), and yell "Koooweee!" really, really loud. That always works for me.

Louisa Louisa
I agree. If this is a book, or if you finish it, email me! I love your use of words, and so far, the storyline. Very good!
👍 70 | 👎 -4

Louisa Originally Answered: How to attract the good guys?
When you're running into this much trouble, it might be worth it to ask: Why are the good guys staying away? What you're dating now is male-junk. But what is it about you that would make a good man give you the dodge? Now I notices a few clues in your question: 1. "I am a strong woman" -Are you strong? Or are you stubborn, bad tempered, self righteous, and demanding? Because a good number of "strong" women are just women who act like men....and do so badly. 2. "with my own career" -Nothing wrong with this. But the fact that you said "my own" rather than "a good" tells me you've gone out to prove that you didn't need anyone else to provide for you. Very admirable, but not exactly attractive. A good man might take one look at your career and think "Well, she doesn't need me. It's obvious." and walk away. But guys who only want you in the sack probably won't notice this distinction. 3. "They show their true colors" - Um, you can tell this after date number 1? Anything that is this obvious, should clue you in before you take the date and allow you to avoid these situations. Most men are a little nervous on date number one. Maybe you should accept date number two or three. You might find a really decent guy behind all the bravado. 4. "We have this stigma about asking men..." -You've definitely had more than your fair share of Women's Studies courses. This stigma is non-existant to those who ignore it (like a lot of women). Despite what Gloria Allred and her cohorts at NOW might preach, you should NEVER ask a man out. It screws up the whole dating ritual. Now, that said....there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with opening a door. You just have to let him walk through it. And if he doesn't, try opening it again some other time. "I'd reallly like to go to this (movie/concert/restaurant), but I don't have anyone to go with..." or "I've heard (xyz) is a lot of fun, but only if you take a date." or even "This weekend is going to be so boring. I've got almost nothing to do!" Take these things into consideration. I earnestly hope your luck improves! Good Luck!
Louisa Originally Answered: How to attract the good guys?
try meeting men in unselfish situations. Charity events, volunteer events, etc. If you meet them being unselfish when they are not with you, chances are that they will not be selfish when they are with you. I dated a guy that talked about himself and his accomplishments all through the date. Not once was the converstation about me. It was the worst date I ever had.

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